Chapter 1. First steps
“To hell with your mathematics! I’m studying design,” I said 12 years ago to my parents and crushed their hopes for me turning into a decent human being.
If you think that my decision was rational and thought-through, you’re mistaken. The only rational decisions I made 12 years ago were connected to becoming a Superstar Frost Mage in World of Warcraft, and waking up at 5 am to do at least some of the homework.
If Bachelor’s of Magic was an option, I would never switch careers. But the last year of high school was approaching, and I had to make a choice.
In Russia, you don’t have the luxury of taking a year off after graduation to think about what you want to do with your life. No. In Russia, you’re supposed to know at 16. But guess what? I knew nothing.
Ok, it’s a lie. I did know for sure that I was bored at Maths classes and hated Physics. I guess studying at Physico-Mathematical Lyceum had something to do with it. In fact, the only subjects I truly enjoyed were English and Literature. Which probably explains me starting this blog after all 🤷🏻.
I also knew that I was good at all things computer. I am not talking about chat rooms, Quake and Microsoft Paint here (even though I was a natural). I’m talking about drawing animated hedgehogs in Pascal, Boolean algebra and simple websites made in Notepad.
Apart from that, I was a great manipulator (which is a doubtful thing to be proud of). I spent quite some time watching people and listening to their drama in order to discover all the buttons to push. For fun, personal gain, their sake, free food... Ok, now I don’t sound like a nice person at all.
But the point is that if I was smart and analyzed my developed skillset, I could have become a good salesperson. Or a programmer. Or maybe even a diplomat.
Unfortunately, that was not the case, and somehow I decided to become a designer. Why? That’s a great question to ask.
Most students choose design because they know how to draw. Well, good for them. I didn’t. Moreover, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because after school I went to Music school. And when there was no Music School I had extra English, French, Russian and Physics classes. Which basically eliminated my chances of having time and energy for anything else.
Ok, it’s also a lie (see? I would have nailed that sales thing 💪🏻). I could take time from playing World of Warcraft to learn drawing, but being a good mage was way too important back then. And probably always will be. Whatever.
I still prefer to think of my teenage years as of one truly difficult hero journey. It’s not an exaggeration. Everyone knows that being a disproportional pimpled person is hard by default. Plus parents.
Right. Parents. I should probably mention that I’m a daughter of a pianist, a business shark, and a nuclear physicist. Exciting? Indeed.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of them. But it’s not an easy task to grow up in a family where every adult is bloody talented and successful. And who made sure each and every day that I grow up to be talented and successful, too.
Maybe if I chose physics or economics as my dads did, I would now be working at a fancy company doing some really badass things. But no, I rebelled and chose design. That’s why instead of sitting in a comfortable office chair right now I’m still sitting on my warm kitchen floor, thinking if I should make an illustration on World of Warcraft 🤔 (should I?)
But back we go to my lack of drawing skill.
You know how women with naturally curly hair choose to straighten it because curls are something they’ve been dealing with their whole life? The same principle applies to my career choice.
For the most part of my first 16 years, I played the piano, studied technical subjects and ate porridge. That’s why every time I met kids who made cool paintings, danced and had something else for breakfast than porridge, I was jealous. I mean truly, deeply jealous. Mainly because #notporridge.
So when life gave me a chance to turn off the road, I did. I chose to learn how to draw, get better exposure to human science and stop eating baby food.
Sounds bold, I know. The reality was a little bit more tricky though. I couldn’t just enter Art University without being able to draw stuff from life and making sure the result doesn’t look scary as hell. Thankfully, I didn’t aim as high.
Besides being a dreamer, I have a pretty good understanding of things I can or cannot do 🤓. I rarely put myself in situations where my chances to fail exceed 99%. Plus, my ego likes to be stroked, and I try to take somewhat good care of my self-esteem.
Apart from that, I didn’t want my student life to be all about canvases, paints, existential philosophy and bohemian vibe. It’s not like I have anything against hanging out with aggressively artistic spirits, but my left half of the brain has always been in charge of my thinking and doing, and it needed to be in a more diverse and practical environment to feel nice and comfy.
That is exactly why I didn’t choose Art University and went for Polytechnic one instead.
In 2007 design education in Russia wasn’t as big and popular as it is now. There were courses on how to draw in Photoshop or how to build super simple websites but there were just a few Universities that had programs which were not all about coding or all about painting.
That even makes sense. It was the time where internet didn’t yet corrupt everyone, UI/UX would be considered as a weird emoji and social media platforms were at the baby stage of existence. Back then no one needed templates for Instagram or Pinterest because there was no Instagram and Pinterest.
But it was also the time when people started to realize the potential of doing business online. Creative agencies began springing up like mushrooms because that stuff required some badass visuals.
I saw that the majority of professionals in design companies had art education. I also understood that they spent quite some time after graduation on learning different software to be able to go digital. Because if you were digital, you had money. If you were not, you struggled.
I didn’t want to struggle, I wanted to be digital right away. That’s why I was truly happy once I saw that Peter the Great St. Petersburg Polytechnic University had exactly what I was looking for. It was also the University my dad and grandmother went to 😎, so I felt like I wouldn’t disappoint them completely.
I was wrong. When I announced that I chose “Applied Information Technologies and Design” at SPBSTU (abbreviation of that super long title), they were noticeably sad. To them, Polytechnic University was a badge of honor if you studied Nuclear Physics or Mechanical Engineering. The beast I went for didn’t sound anything like those two options.
They weren’t sad for too long though. My mother quickly found comfort in a very sexist thought of me being a girl and not having to go to the army after turning 18. She thought that if I wanted to waste time on silly things, I could at least afford it. I guess she was confident I’d drop out and come to my senses.
I didn’t drop out. But I did think of switching to something else after the first 2 years. The education I was so excited about it the first place ended up crushing my idea of University being a necessary step in becoming a cool professional. It also made me see a huge difference between design perception in Russia and The Western World (more on this later 👈🏻).
I was bored, annoyed, skeptical and frustrated already after passing my very first exams. But I was also happy because that’s exactly when Modi came into my life ☀️.
