Being Bilingual: This is My Story

Olie Rongwaree
Nov 1 · 9 min read

Disclaimer: I’m writing this purely out of boredom. It might be choppy and incoherent at parts because it would take forever to put in every single detail, so I apologize in advance. If you’re reading this to be entertained, you might or might not be entertained, so if you have any expectations, you might as well click out now before getting disappointed. Just saying. There also might be typos because I suck at reviewing my own work. Enjoy. :)


I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this, but I thought it would be a fun idea to share my experience (is that what people call even this?) growing up bilingual.

It probably isn’t even considered a special skill anymore (well.. I guess for job applications, it is) to be bilingual because of how easy it is to find resources for learning a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. language. You could go buy an exercise book at a bookstore or search up online courses for learning a third language or learn through a language learning app or even go on an exchange program; the opportunities are absolutely endless. People are probably born bilingual now that the world is globalized, and opportunities are given to some on a silver platter. Heck, even school curriculums provide third language courses.

But, I’m not writing this up to tell you how easy or difficult it is to learn a language (because anyone who has attempted would have their own opinions).

Being bilingual or multilingual is a unique and personal experience that differs from one person to another, and there really isn’t any strict frame that dictates whom can be referred to as truly “bilingual”. You could search up the dictionary definition of the word and even then the definition is subjective. (How fluent is ‘fluent’ anyways?) So, just keep in mind that my personal definition can be different from yours and your next door neighbor, and that’s totally Gucci.

If you’re still reading this after several paragraphs of rambling, good job. You’ve made it to me actually telling my story.

First off, I speak two languages: Thai and English. (That’s probably not a shocker.)

As I type this, I’m reluctant to say I’m fluent in any one of these two languages because I personally still have a long way to go, but to not make this too complicated to understand, I’ll just simply state that I’m fluent. Period.

As background information, my parents are both Thai, and I was born in Thailand, so Thai is basically my first language, even though I don’t feel like it is. And this is because when I was just 3 years old — barely learned kindergarten for a semester — my family moved to the United States of America. There, English technically became my second language but it felt more like my first language because of how long I stayed there, and how I became more comfortable with speaking in English than Thai, from then til now. We lived there for four years before moving back to Thailand, where I continued my education at an international school, and then continued with my bachelor’s in an international program (although, I personally disagree on the “international-ness” of the program, but that’s a whole another story). Currently, I’m comfortable with both languages, but I still do prefer speaking in English over Thai.

I guess I wasn’t always bilingual; maybe I was a fake bilingual if that’s a thing. When I moved back to Thailand after four years in America, I spoke very minimal Thai. I basically only spoke English — with my parents, my brother, my friends — it was to the point some people either assumed I wasn’t Thai or stared at me in public whenever I spoke. At the time, I was also very insecure about my accent. It gave me anxiety whenever I had to speak Thai because my accent was ridiculously unnatural whenever I spoke Thai, and because I didn’t practice speaking Thai for four years, I wasn’t able to form coherent sentences right on the spot; it took a long time for me to be able to be confident and comfortable with speaking in Thai. You could say that I basically refused to speak the language at all. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t understand what everyone was saying around me; I understood every single word. I just didn’t know how to respond.

So to help me develop my Thai, I was tutored on the weekends for about two years and spent two summers learning in a public Thai school. (It was funny to me because most students would usually spend summer in summer school or a program abroad, but there was me going to an actual school to learn for another two months.) My tutorials focused mostly on my reading and writing skills, which fortunately are my linguistic strengths, while my summers spent in public school forced me to practice my speaking, but at the same time, I was able to make new friends and have a chance to experience another education system. In that public school, I was given a customized timetable, did almost all assignments, and even went to after school tutorial like any other student, but it just wasn’t counted for a grade. For the whole summer, my purpose for being there was just to practice my Thai; I just ended up having to take all the other classes there too, like science, math, social studies, physical education, and boy/girl scouts. All of my classmates were incredibly friendly and didn’t make fun of me for having terrible Thai, so their encouragement actually pushed me to become better at it.

Speaking in Tinglish (a mix of Thai and English) with friends at school also eased me into speaking more Thai, mainly because I could speak comfortably in both languages while not having to be worried if the other person would be able understand me or not. It’s easier, especially when I can’t think of the right word in one language, I could always say it in the other language. I always knew it was strange but it came naturally to me and probably to all international school students. It was only until I saw on online discussion boards, where some people commented that they thought that those who switched between languages in the same sentence were just trying to “act cool”, then I knew how strange it sounded to other people. But, honestly, I’ve never really been bothered by that anyway, just a tinge bit of curiosity as to why they think that. The official term for switching between languages in a conversation is actually code-switching, which I only learned after almost a decade; it was in ninth grade IB English class that I finally learned this term.

Code-switching actually helped me, not only to start integrating Thai into conversation, but also to communicate with my parents easier and with more understanding because my parents aren’t fluent in English, and when I talk fast in English, it takes a long time for them to understand or they don’t understand at all which would lead to arguments and misunderstandings. So, improving my Thai has also allowed me to become closer to my parents as they understand me more and I can communicate my thoughts and feelings better to them.

Up until the end of high school I stopped worrying about my speech, but when I enrolled into university, that was when my anxiety came back because now I’d have to speak completely in Thai, and code-switching wasn’t the best option if I were to try to fit in this new community. I had problems like… What pronoun do I use? What do I call myself? What do I call someone who’s a stranger but the same age as me? How do I make small talk? Simple things like that which shouldn’t really be a problem, but when you don’t know the language well enough, it becomes a problem. I was used to calling myself “I” and other people “you” in conversations, that I didn’t know which pronoun was the proper one that I should use in Thai conversations. I wasn’t used to it (nor am I used to it now, but oh well).

All it took was simply trial and error before I found what felt right to me and what sounded natural. To be completely honest, it frustrated me for a while that people didn’t speak English in a program that was considered international, but I knew that people weren’t incompetent; everyone had to be proficient in English up to some certain extent to get into this program (and to graduate). It frustrated me even more that I wasn’t able to express myself with accuracy because of how lacking my vocabulary was and without using Tinglish as a metaphorical crutch. And it couldn’t be helped that at times it felt lonely.

Being suddenly thrusted into this completely new environment made me realize several things.

  1. Thai people will speak Thai to other Thai people, anywhere, anytime. Doesn’t matter what country, academic program, institution, etc. And it’s not just Thai people. It can be anyone from any nationality. They speak their language because it’s their NATIVE language.
  2. I can’t change other people, but I can always change myself.
  3. Changing myself doesn’t mean I will lose myself, and I don’t have to change myself if I don’t want to. Rather than changing, I’ve simply evolved into a better version of me. An improvement that can be beneficial in the long-run.

This is probably common sense to other people, but at the time it truly wasn’t as clear to me as it is now. Vision clouded by anger and, honestly, judgement. It wasn’t long before I realized how unhappy I was and that led to taking many opportunities and risks, until today I don’t regret any of them. I’ve met many great people, expanded my horizons, and gotten so far out of my comfort zone that I would probably do it again if I had the chance.

So far, I’ve only talked about my Thai, mainly because English has always been second nature to me. There’s not much of a story to tell. As mentioned before, I spent four years of my childhood in America, so it’s not unlikely that my accent or my speech patten would mimic the ones of those that I was surrounded with at a young age. Kids are like sponges; they soak up whatever is around them whether it’s good or bad. The main factor that kept my language developing was reading and writing. I was fortunate that in school — both in the States and in international school — reading, writing, and speaking were heavily emphasized on.

In elementary school, we had reading logs where we had to read 20 minutes a day, write what happened in book, and have our guardian sign the log of each day. By fifth grade, we were divided into groups according to our reading level; we had to read the assigned book and write analyses on the chapters that we read. Writing essays was a common task in all classes for all grades, not just English class. In the States, I was lucky to be living close to a library that actually made reading fun; at school, the libraries were filled with a variety of young adult novels that we could check out anytime, even for the summer. These libraries also color-coded the books so students knew which books were suitable for their reading level. I might sound like a total bookworm slash nerd right now, but I probably spent most of my time in the library than anywhere else in school — other than the canteen. Making a habit out of reading and using what I read when I’m writing makes grammar, spelling, and vocabulary second nature. If you told me to explain why, I probably wouldn’t be able to. It’s honestly just a gut feeling.

And even though my tight-knit group of friends are Thai, a lot of the time we spoke English or Tinglish. I had many friends who were foreigners as well, so it wasn’t uncommon to completely in English outside of class. It wasn’t something that I felt forced to do — though some people who didn’t want to simply just didn’t give a damn about the ‘English only on campus’ policy, including me— it was simply something I did. That’s the story of basically why I’m fluent in English. I also watch a lot of Youtubers that are English speakers, so maybe that has some influence as well.

While I do believe that being bilingual has its benefits — and I’m especially grateful for getting the opportunity to try out being a tutor and taking on positions initially out of spite — there are always those issues that come with it. Like, forgetting words in one language but knowing in the other. Getting the tone messed up for a Thai word because I was thinking of another English word. Being a walking dictionary (not a big issue though, it’s just really funny). Simple stuff that I’ve learned to live with, had to learn from, and slowly adjust to.

I’m not sure how to end this, since it really is just a recollection of my struggles with juggling two languages and learning to become more fluent in both. One can’t exist without the other because both have become a part of my identity and has helped me grow as an individual. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for me to be fluent in Thai before I became fluent in English, but then I wouldn’t be me. It’s probably insignificant to other people, but communication is such an important aspect of my life and without it I wouldn’t be who I am today, telling this story, and you wouldn’t be reading it right now either.

What’s your story?


If you’ve made it to the end of this story, I really appreciate that you took the time to read it. Thank you so much. If you have any questions (though I don’t think anyone will), please feel free to ask.

    Olie Rongwaree

    Written by

    Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
    Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
    Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade