Fuck Data

The inner dialog of many a marketer.

Me: New idea for the homepage.

Myself: What is it?

Me: A way of describing who we are and what we do. But better.

Myself: You should test it.

Me: Meaning?

Myself: A/B test it. With or without the new idea. Which performs best.

Me: What if it doesn’t win?

Myself: We don’t use it.

Me: I really believe in this idea.

Myself: I’m sure you do.

Me: How long are we going to test it for?

Myself: About three weeks.

Me: What if it loses for three weeks, and then has a positive bigger-picture impact?

Myself: It’ll still be in the data.

Me: How can bigger-picture be in the data?

Myself: We can only judge what we can measure.

Me: So we can’t see the bigger picture. In the data.

Myself: Is that a question?

Me: No.

Myself: The data will tell us what we should do.

Me: What data?

Myself: If B lost to A. The test failed.

Me: I know that.

Myself: What do you want to do?

Me: I don’t know.

Myself: What do you want to do?

Me: I’d like to punch a wall.

Myself: Grow up.

Me: I want it on our homepage regardless. It shows who we are.

Myself: Don’t be such a fucking HiPPO.

Me: I spent serious time on this idea.

Myself: So run a test.

Me: I am.

Myself: And what’s the outcome so far? In the test?

Me: It’s performing slightly worse.

Myself: So?

Me: So we need to find a way to make it work.

Myself: Or, you could trust the data and give up.

Me: Fuck off.

Myself: You proved it doesn’t work, all by yourself.

Me: I want it to work.

Myself: The data says it doesn’t.

Me: Fuck data.


About Oli Gardner

Unbounce.com Co-Founder Oli Gardner has seen more landing pages than anyone on the planet. He’s obsessed with identifying and reversing bad marketing practices, and his disdain for marketers who send campaign traffic to their homepage is legendary, resulting in landing page rants that can peel paint off an unpainted wall. A prolific international speaker, Oli is on a mission to rid the world of marketing mediocrity by using data-informed copywriting, design, interaction, and psychology to create a more delightful experience for marketers and customers alike.