Thank you for sharing your story. Reading it was pretty hard for me.
Me and my wife lost our son on Jan 5th 2015. It was hard and it still is. Everyone’s loss is different, but I think I can tell you that it gets better. I highly recommend seeing a therapist, either alone or with your wife. We are in a much better place now than even just a few months ago. The grief is no longer overwhelming, but I don’t think it will ever go away and that’s okay.
If I can offer any advice it’s this: Don’t forget to talk to each other, and to listen to each other. Talk about everything. Even though it’s exhausting. Take some time off together, too.
I wish you and your wife didn’t have to go through this. I wish you all the best.