Your struggles are part of doing it the first time. I’ve started 8 high-tech companies. My first was at age 25 while working for a global strategy consulting firm — and that was by far the hardest. Consulting does not teach doing.
The existential pressure of starting a business brings focus to the mind. If you focus on the wrong things, your startup will die (and take a part of you with it).
Your approach is typical of newbies. Fortunately, there are now vast resources to teach people how to be more efficient, less risky entreprenuers. At the high end are Y Combinator, TechStars and corporate incubators. Almost every major city has a program like Founders Institute or Startup Weekends that teach people how to thrive (rather than just survive) in a startup.
If you want to hang out with corporate employees (whose paycheck is virtually guaranteed) then you will never learn the culture and mindset necessary to create new businesses.
Contrary to your statements, the most successful entrepreneurs I know started businesses while having families. Zero optionality is a great motivator to focus 50 hours per week on what will create success… rather than 80 hours per week of churning in chaos.