Concert Review: Sugar Ray @ Lane County Fair (From My Living Room)

Jonwayne and I were fucking livid. Not only did we miss Sugar Ray play, but we also missed Sugar Ray play in the town right next to ours. We also missed Sugar Ray play at a church festival in the town next to ours. In addition, we also missed Sugar Ray play at a church festival in the town next to ours, for free.

It was the one exception to my rule of not having any true regrets.

I love my mom. Besides giving birth to me and being my favourite parent, she provided an opportunity for me to see Sugar Ray play live (though not at a church festival in the town next to ours, for free). The price of the concert was a specified amount of membership points earned from the local newspaper that was bartered for two tickets to the event. I immediately phoned Jonwayne to commit our act of revenge.

Some dumb fucking band called Donovan Frankenreiter actually headlined the show. Mini-review: trite, insipid, jejune, stodgy, vapid, and milquetoast. I do have to give them credit for hiring a fox of a guitarist. I masked my desire to shag him by pointing out his actions to Jonwayne as “retarded.”

Even more fucked up was my intention to act as a “retarded dad” for the duration of the gig. I pretended to be super excited about them, dressed like a goober whilst screaming as much as possible.

’Twas a thin veil, as the washed-up musicians provided solid entertainment. They played their most popular music compositions, as well as a Judas Priest cover and some odd banter that one would expect from Mr. McGrath. Lest I mention that this was taking place as 2010 was passing. Yes, I brought in the New Year with Sugar Ray. It was even better than the one I spent in the darkroom (2014), and it even eclipsed the passing of 2012 where I ejaculated exactly as cheers rung throughout the neighborhood.

Since then, I have constantly defended the band to naysayers.

My duck-watching-partner informed me of their presence at the Lane County Fair. However, I immediately lost interest once I saw a dollar sign ($) on the information page.

Besides listening to the horsies neigh, the perk of living right next to the Fairgrounds is having a chance to hear Sugar Ray play live from my living room.