Advice for my 21 Year old self
“Fuck it — I quit,” has been a recurring theme for this exact time of year (Sept-Oct) many times in my life. Okay that’s a lie. One of those times I got fired.
Oh and other times it was actually “fuck it, I’m doing this!”
Twenty-One — Dropped out of school. Quit a $35 an hour union job building cars.
Twenty-Two. I quit a corporate sales job. Great billions in revenue company but not a match for me.
Twenty-Four was the time I got fired. A small, growing company that started with just me and the owner. First thing I said was, “thanks for doing what I didn’t have the balls to do,” walked out the door, and went straight to work on my own business that very day.
Twenty-Seven I began my coaching practice. I committed to yoga teacher training.
But if I could hop into a time travelling DeLorean back to my 21 year old self, I’d say…
1) Be Patient —
It takes time and energy to create and manifest your dreams. Slow down to speed up. Every breakdown and breakthrough is part of the process. Be there for it.
2) Make Stuff —
Share your gifts with the world. There is a powerful distinction between consumption and creation. Create more than you consume. Whatever that means. Record videos, make more music, write blogs. The more you create the more you discover about yourself and the world.
3) Well-Being —
Nothing matters if you don’t love and appreciate yourself in the here and now. Create a practice of self-love and self-care that you can do each day. The better you feel, the more energy you have. The more energy you have, the more you accomplish. Most people succeed in spite of their well-being. Disintegrated. Not you. Integrate self-care and self-love and you’ll accomplish your goals in harmony with yourself.
4) Play —
Why so serious? You’re 21. Be 21. Do things for the fuck of it. Be silly! You don’t know how much time you have on this planet. Enjoy it while you can.
5) People —
How much you love or dread your life will be greatly impacted by who you’re with. Look around you. Choose wisely. Who you’re with is who you become. As you reinvent and transform, the people in your life will need to be reinvented and transform as well.
6) Be in YOUR process —
It’s easy to get distracted with what everyone else is doing. You’ll feel like a piece of shit watching the highlight reels of people’s lives on Facebook. It’s not real. Everyone has challenges and obstacles just like you. Your insecurity, resistance, and fear, is not unique to you. Let go of where everyone else is at. Be where you are.
7) Love your body —
Move your body and take care of your body. It’s the only one you get. The stronger, flexible, and balanced you are physically, the stronger, flexible, and balanced you will be mentally and emotionally as well. Focus on longevity. Eat real food.
8) Be in relationship —
Connect with people authentically. Get to know them. Actually give a shit. Be a resource to them. Connect them with people, opportunities and resources that will uplift their lives… If they want it. Remember #5.
9) Take risks —
You thrive on innovation. Question everything. Destroy your assumptions and what you think is true. Get to the essence. Make bold requests and promises that create the future.
10) Practice Gratitude —
Nothing matters if you don’t appreciate it. Everything you have and everyone that is already in your life is something to be grateful for. It’s real. It’s in the here and now. Fear and worry and regret is not real. Those are past and future based. Come from what’s real.
11) Invest in YOU —
Hire a coach. Go on retreats that help you uncover your best self. Heal and recover from past wounds. Transformation without recovery is only half the battle. Do both and leap forward from a place of awareness, integration, transformation, and compassion.
12) Being Trumps Doing.
Focus on being over doing. Being happy vs doing happy. Being authentic vs doing authentic. Notice the difference. Come from your essence. The unique qualities that make you, you. Simply coming from and being love and essence has an impact on the world.
If I could only tell him a few words it would be “learn to love yourself, know yourself, and authentically express yourself.”
Who knows where I’d be if my 21 year old self actually took these twelve things on. I wouldn’t be here that’s for sure. I would have avoided hell.
But I am here. I went through hell. And I am exactly where I need to be.
I bless and kiss those earth shattering breakdowns and rock bottom experiences now because they led me to these insights. They shaped who I am today and they continue to shape who I am becoming.
We don’t need a fucking time machine to change our lives.
Life lessons are bankrupt if we don’t apply them.