To the Father of the Stanford Rapist,
I was a survivor of a digital rape last October. My trauma lasted around thirty minutes from when I woke up to find his fingers inside my vagina, until I finally got the courage to get out of the bed and confront him. It took another hour to convince him to leave. So when you say your son should not have his life ruined for “20 minutes of action,” I have only one thing to say to you;
How Dare You.
How dare you minimize what your son’s victim went through. It was because of people like you and like the pathetic judge who gave him only six months that I still remain to petrified to report my own assault.
Because people like you would try to make me feel like it was my fault. She was drunk and passed out, I had been sleeping willingly with my attacker for two months so how could it be an assault.
Because people like you would act like its no big deal. It was only twenty minutes. But it wasn’t. I barely left my room for four months after my attack. I left law school because I couldn’t handle even getting out of bed most days. I get angry a lot. Catcalls make me want to shout angrily back at the men because it feels like I am just there to be something for them to look at, like for him I was just something to take for his own pleasure.
How dare you be offended by the outcry for harder action against the son you raised. Yeah he may be your precious son and a star swimmer, but to her, he is a demon. I am sure my attacker is loved by his family too. But that love doesn’t take away my fear, my anger, and my trauma. He could have been the president of the united states, and it still would have felt just as bad for me. Still would have put my life into a downward spiral.
So how dare you. Your son is not just a son, or a swimmer, he is an attacker, an assaulter, and a sexual predator. And its people like you and that judge that make women like me scared to report what happened to us.
So many of us remain silenced and without proper justice because we are scared of being put on trial. The survivor of your son, is an incredibly strong and brave woman and she deserves justice and respect.
It is because of people like you that rape cultural remains so strong. A woman is sexually assaulted every two minutes and most of us don’t report it. Most of us cant face a trial knowing that no true good will come of it. Because drug dealers and those who commit petty crimes are imprisoned for longer than the men who invade us and assault us. We are the ones who feel shame when they are the ones who should suffer the shame and guilt.
So how dare you.