Will the Most Valid Woman Please Stand Up

When women get asked how they feel as women the responses vary quite a bit but generally have some similar points.

Fear. This can be fear of walking alone, fear of rejecting a man and facing the consequence, fear of sexual situations becoming violent and etc.

Getting spoken over, passed over on promotions, realizing they were getting paid less.

Constant exposure to lewd language around their anatomy and constant shame around their anatomy. Breast size, vulva appearance, having hair on legs/vulva/armpits.

Being told not wearing bras is inappropriate because nips sometimes are visible. But never being able to find comfortable bras.

Knowing that around the world other women are having their clits forcibly removed, being stoned and killed, being forced to marry rapists and be pregnant at 9.

Watching as men make decision around birth control and pregnancy. Knowing that the consequences of these laws will leave many dead.

Dealing with periods, infertility problems, pregnancy issues, miscarriages, or dealing with being shamed for not wanting children or pregnancy. Paying a luxury tax on products for something that truly cannot be called a luxury.

Not every woman faces all of these issues, but all women were born with these as possibilities. All women were born into a world that reminds them on a daily basis that they are women. And most of the time this includes treatment that leaves women feeling second, unimportant, worthless, and so on. We live in a world where every day we hear stories of women being mistreated and men getting away with it. After years of this it becomes internalized.

When Trans Women are asked how the feel like a woman you get this:

I just never felt comfortable as a man.

I just feel like a woman

I do my normal things but now I feel prettier.

I dont know, I just do.

I just always wanted to be one.

I was drawn to crossdressing and felt better when doing it.

You cant really define it.

So to simplify, women feel like women because of how they are treated, and how they feel around their bodies, and because they go through distinctly female experiences and face mistreatment through them. Trans women feel like women because… they just don’t feel ok how they are/ wanted to be pretty/felt like one, etc..

So when we look at women’s issues like the female centered language around female biology and women’s spaces, which women should be in charge of these issues? My vote is with the women who dealt with the innate and constant experiences of being a woman in this society since the moment they were born and people could see a vagina, and then based their treatment on that.

Trans women are trans women. They have dysphoria or other reasons behind their being nonconforming or transgender. They were born and got treated as if they had a penis because they did. At some point they wandered from “Typical boy behavior” whatever that means and did not feel right, and they got treated badly for that. Maybe they got bullied for it, harassed for it, and so on. So when they get older they do research and discover they are transgender. And hey I don’t dispute trans people exist and deserve respect and safety. I don’t dispute you feel “like a woman” though as a cis woman I cant really tell you how I feel like a woman. I don’t dispute you feel mismatched. I do not dispute your experience.

But you were born male and I was born female and now I am an adult woman and you are an adult trans woman.

Here is why I am pissed.

I don’t wear dresses often, dont wear makeup, have a fairly androgynous face, want to build muscle, and curse like a sailor. I get told I am not ladylike by some, but most of us love that it is now ok to be less, ladylike. The stereotypes still exist, but I am facing less criticism for not falling into them. I am not feeling less worthwhile as a woman because I don’t fall into the stereotypical “pretty woman”.

But most trans women I meet and see are obsessed with this stereotype. Long hair, lots of makeup, acting super feminized almost like the parody of women you generally see in drag. Many become obsessed with ensuring their neovagina looks as pretty as possible, many get upset when their breasts don’t get super large.

But us natal women, we don’t get to choose how our vagina and boobs look, if we want to change them we must spend thousands on surgeries. But we are constantly seeing conversations about whether a pussy is pretty or not or whether boobs are big enough. We constantly fight to feel self confident through this, to remind ourself we still have worth no matter our pussy or breasts. Watching trans women talk about these subjects is so insulting. My pussy doesn’t have to be pretty, my breasts don’t have to be large and hearing you bitch and moan because your surgical vag and hormone boobs are not your fantasy of perfection is offensive, insulting, degrading, and just not helpful to any of us.

My period is always stressful. The cramps, the blood, the feeling super weird. I have to pay a luxury tax on tampons or shove a cup inside my vagina. My vag gets angry and irritated. And on top of this when boys see any reminder of it, they call me gross. Seeing a unused tampon is gross, seeing a tiny hint of blood on a tampon ive thrown away is gross, getting some blood during sex is gross. It fucks with you mentally after a while.

Now trans women are going out buying pads and simulating periods for fun.

Abortion is legal but almost impossible to access. You always have to travel, its hundreds of dollars, it affects your body, you get told constantly your body is not yours to have this right too, and you get harassed, bullied, and threatened when you do try to go.

And yesterday I saw a few examples of trans women telling women that they should see their ability to have an abortion as a privilege since trans women cannot get that experience.

The Woman’s March was used by many to express anger over Trump’s sexual assault comments and the pussy hats, while not loved by everyone, were a cute reference to women’s genitals since its difficult to find places to talk about them in general and women’s issues get thrown under the rug.

And trans women got offended by this and called women bigots, terfs, and told them such signs and hats should not be allowed because they are not trans inclusive.

Men have been abusing new laws and dressing up as women or claiming to be women to get access to women’s change rooms to abuse and assault women. There are more and more cases of it. Because the way the laws are being rewritten make it extremely easy to misuse.

Trans women bully anyone who tries to share this information with the world, insist it never happens, tell us to just see the penis as a female penis on a trans woman, and tell us their need to access our restrooms matters more. Women’s safety doesn’t matter. Even in cases where gender neutral rooms are added to appease the community, the trans movement still sues for access to women’s spaces.

In cases where trans women assault other women, their being trans is left out of the information. Women on women violence is on the rise, except that many of these women are trans women, who were born male and had male socialization up to a certain point. I think that sort of matters when we look into violence statistics.

And kids that haven’t gone through puberty show even a small hint of being nonconforming are being transed. Taking hormones before puberty can have serious consequences, and most kids are fairly non conforming when they are left alone. Bullying parents into just accepting a kid as trans when the kid shows a tiny hint of nonconformity is an experiment thats going to end very badly.

There was a time, when the transgender movement was about getting proper care, being able to live as a transgender without harassment and violence, and being recognized as having an actual valid experience ie; dysphoria, being transgender, being gnc.

It is now a bastardization of that bent on censoring women, demanding women open their spaces, forcing everyone to validate them not as transgenders, but as actual biological women, and ensuring no women is able to protest.

It has become about parading around as a stereotypical woman, co-opting women’s biological experiences for funsies, rewriting their history as well as the history of others and co-opting terms from other movements. Intersectionality was supposed to be for black women in feminism first and foremost. Intersex peoples biological realities are being used in a coercive manner that leaves actual intersex people out of their own conversation. And even Lesbian events are becoming all about trans-inclusivity and the “cotton ceiling.” Because not being attracted to a penis is not literal violence against trans people.

Planned Parenthood Ottowa stated they were going to start teaching sex ed without using female and male terminology, something which hundreds of women protested as it will leave kids with such limited information that it might as well have just been abstinence only education instead.

“The Vagina Monologues” is being banned fro being performed due to it being transphobic…

A feminist library in Vancouver facing protests because it contains books that don’t focus on trans issues.

The leading and most respected feminists, women who fought back in the 80s at the very start of the movement have been no platformed for simply stating differences between female and male persons.

Trans women are the most vocal in all of this and seem mostly incapable of sitting down and actually speaking about these issues. Instead they are content to just hurl slurs, and joke amongst themselves about raping us with their lady dick. Which hilariously is male language through and through. In fact most behaviors listed here permeate with male entitlement and male behavior.

The trans women out there content to be trans women, have trans spaces, and be part of feminism by promoting discussion and compromise between the two communities, also face this backlash.

There is unity in this movement. There are trans women capable of acknowledging their biological realities while they work for their safety and care who join with the so called “terfs”, radical feminists, gender criticals, and others. And there are radical feminists, gender criticals, and others who do fight for gender non conformity, to dismantle the hurtful nature of gender roles, and do this while fighting for the safety and care of trans women. And of course there are trans men and men who this and fight this too. We are unified and working for actual progress, feminism, equality, safety, and to dismantle the patriarchy.

And then you have those that just want to scream, hurl insults, and bully until everyone else shuts up because their need to be validated no matter what the reality is matters the most. They have their allies, and tend to lose those allies quickly because of the vitriol unleashed when a small mistake or tiny dissent occurs. They are working to ensure everyone else falls in line, obeys, and no disagreement can be found. Which oddly sounds like Trump, Hitler, narcissism, and fascism to me.

I choose to align myself with the people who are not so quick to threaten to choke me to death on their ladydick, but hey, that’s just me.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.