Top Seven Tips For Alone Contestants: How to Survive Your First Day in the Wilderness
So you’ve done it.
Your bag is packed, you’ve brought the scariest survival knife you can find, and you’ve studied every edible piece of local flora and fauna on your new homesteading site. You’re ready to be the next winner of the history channel’s Alone Season 6, starring whoever the hell else is bold enough to sling a bedroll over their shoulder and get out into the uncivilized no-man’s land.
Congratulations!
No, really.
You’re a brave soul, heading out into a wilderness survival situation with only ten items to your name. You’ve got something, whatever the hell that is, and I respect that.
Before we go any further, let me make one thing clear: I haven’t gone camping in years, I don’t hunt or fish, and I spend most of my time researching, writing, and playing with my baby girl. I’ve never set up a snare or killed and cooked my own food. I have no idea what an edible mushroom looks like.
However, I picked up a pen and paper and binge-watched the History Channel show “Alone,” because it was a fascinating show, and hey, this pile of laundry isn’t going to fold itself. And I took careful notes, if you want to see them.
So let’s get into this.
If you want to make it to the end of the this challenge, you’re going to have surmount a number of unique obstacles. You’re going to need to consider every move you make, no matter how small, because one misstep could lead to your extraction from this challenge.
Before you bust out that bottle of celebratory rose, let’s reflect on the missteps that cost the previous Alone contestants their chance at $500,000.
- Accept that there will be bears.
Many bears. Bears all over the place. Hanging from trees, swimming in the water, sniffing around your shelter and leaving their fish heads strewn across your yard… You will see, hear, and experience bears. If you’re not okay with this — and it’s totally sane if you’re not — reconsider going on the show.
But bears aren’t your only problem. Depending on where season 6 takes place, you could be up against wolves, coyotes, pumas, and whatever other lumbering, saber-toothed carnivores lumber into your line of sight. Harden your mind to this, or you, too, will press the button.
2. Water must be boiled.
Nothing finishes a long day of fasting and construction projects like a nice, cool sip of raw, cloudy stream water, followed by the refreshing hallucinogenic head trip that follows. I’m flashing back to season one, episode four “Stalked” when an Alone contestant slammed ten quarts of unsafe drinking water, and became so ill that he had to be extracted. He said he hallucinated glowing, Mayan symbols across the roof of his shelter, and entertaining as that sounds, the concomitant poisoning symptoms of shaking, bloating, and pain seems less than ideal.
Moss filtration won’t do the trick, folks. Boil your drinking water.
3. Fatten up Before You Go
I know, I know. You’re about to be on tv, so who the hell wants to gain a bunch of weight first? But you’re not going on Dancing With The Stars. This is Alone, one of the most extreme survival television shows on the air. There’s no tent with snacks and a wifi connection around the corner, no luxury hotel. In the coming months, a Paiute deadfall trap might be your only hope of a bite-sized hunk of meat, and you’ll beg the gods for a fish.
So, don’t go in there looking like a broomstick. Give your doctor a call, come up with a plan that’s right for you, and pack on a few pounds before you attempt to out-starve your opponents.
4. When you’re walking, YOU’RE WALKING.
You’re about to be trudging all over rugged, uneven terrain. The camera can wait. Rather than swinging around an axe in one hand (see above), and holding a camera up to your face with the other, why not stop for rest every now and again and film a clip for the show?
Anyone can get taken out by one misplaced step, and they did, several times. Use your go pro if you must, but please, for the love of god, don’t carry your camera around like a phone.
5. Mentally prepare to miss your loved ones
There’s no way around this one. No matter how rugged, experienced, or mentally prepared you are, you are going to miss your family.
If you or your family are in the middle of a major life event, this knowledge is going to eat you alive as the days drag on. You will dream about being home with the people you love, cuddling on the couch, watching TV, eating a fat, juicy hamburger, only to wake up and find yourself alone, starving in the fucking woods.
And this is where the real challenge comes in, because the name of the game is no longer to catch a bunch of fish and fix up your shelter. At some point, Man vs. Nature will become Man vs. Self, and if you will have to convince yourself, moment by moment, that $500,000 is worth another day huddled under a soaking pile underbrush.
6. Remember that you’re stronger than you think.
When you think you’re done, you’re not done. You’re not even close to done. You have so much fight left in you that it’s fucking baffling. Reach deep inside of yourself and find that that inner source of strength. You’re doing a pretty awesome thing, going out into the woods to outlast a bunch of other survival experts, and you’re going to have some amazing stories to tell when you come home, you just have to go through hell first. Come on, no big deal.
But don’t give up. You’ve got this.
Just take it one day at a time, keep a clear head, and pray for a fresh fish.
7. Check out what past Alone contestants are saying.
Who better to ask than people who have already undertaken the challenge of surviving in the wilderness? Many past contestants of Alone have blogs, youtube channels, and survival courses for the taking. Why not give them a whirl? The first winner of History channel’s Alone Alan Kay has a useful and informative collection of survival videos, if you need a place to get started. His bugout bag is a must for the back of any car.
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Thank you for reading, good luck on your journey into the woods.
