So this year I’ve been trying really hard to not judge the work I create. Basically it seriously prevents me from doing it because I review my creations and I see all of the faults in them and I realize that in the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty rubbish and not exactly where I need to be, and then I can see what I want the creation to be like but it is just so far away from that and then I get annoyed and disheartened.
This is with anything; dancing (I really love to dance and I would love to actually train a bit like I used to, but the above kicks in and I judge what I’m doing and I’m not where I want to be so I get embarrassed and stop)
Singing (see explanation for above)
Guitar (as above)
Drawing (yup, same explanation)
Painting, cycling, writing…(you get the picture)
And basically that exactly what I’m trying to prevent happening with everything from now on. Because it’s okay not to be good. We really must remember that. It totally doesn’t matter that my writing isn’t great and I’m not very good at blogging yet; but what would be really really really stupid is if i was to stop, because if I stop then I’m never going to get to the place I want to be, and never going to get any better. So basically I’ve just got to accept it and stop judging it, so I can keep developing and then someday, I’ll be able to look at my creation and be like ‘yeah that’s fucking good’.
But for now, I’m kind of annoyed with myself for sharing my blog with the big world of Facebook because even though only like 6 people actually probably read anything that I write, it’s still a bit daunting to see that about 50 people more than normal viewed it after I posted the link- and that just makes me all the more quick to judge everything I write on here. So maybe, just maybe don’t read it for a while, because it’s nothing that exciting and then check back in a couple of months/ years when I’ll be keeping a really well written blog. Sound like a plan?