Editing & Enjoying the Weather

ADPR 10.11.16

Today in my ADPR class our main focus was on editing and proof reading our writing. One of my classmates gave me some great feedback on ways to improve my writing after reading my old Medium article on my freshman roommate Carley Mahoney. After reading back over my article and working on fixing what my classmate found, I realized how much better my article could have been if I edited it one more time before submitting.

The first edit I made to my article was adding an explanation to the title of my article. It would probally be a smart idea as a writer to explain why my title is: “Carls Mahoney, a Pop-tart addict….” I fixed far to many spelling errors throughout my writing. It is embarrassing that I did not catch them the first time around. Within almost all of my paragraphs I cleaned up the sentence structure to make my writing flow more fluidly. I did this by eliminating phrases that had the same meaning and were close together. For example, my old sentence read: “She went into further detail about how it boosts her self confidence and makes her feel better about herself.” I changed it to, “She went into further detail about how it boosts her self confidence.” I made this change because saying “it boosts her self confidence” and “makes her feel better about herself” is basically the same thing and causes confusion for the reader. Another major edit throughout my article that I made was going through and making sure all of the verb tenses matched. This has always been something I have struggled with in my writing, and right when my classmate pointed out a few simple errors I knew I would have to go back and scan all of the paragraphs to make sure I caught all of the errors. My worst error in my article was the over usage of the word “closer” in paragraph three. Instead of using the same word over and over again and boring my reader, I went back and changed it to bolder words and phrases.

Overall, looking back and editing this article was much needed. I learned that their is never too many times to read over your work and that a fresh pair of eyes reading your writing can really improve it. I also learned to avoid excessive wordiness and cut out the unnecessary phrases. I am glad I got a second opportunity to write the old Medium post on my roommate and classmate Carley!

Below is the newest version of my article:

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