that even now I find myself questioning was it actually assault?
What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped
Emma Lindsay

i’ve had a similar experience i haven’t ever really been able to process. I woke up one morning after a party in a room I didn’t recognize with a “friend” who told me I had been blacked out and throwing up. yet I had no pants or underwear on … he told me we had sex, proceeded to get on top of me and have sex with me; similar thing of not being turned on, clearly not wanting to but NUMBED not even sure how to proceed. was he telling me he raped me when I was passed out throwing up (there was puke in my hair) and then thought it ws ok to continue? did I think it was ok to let him? i was unconscious. still slightly under the influence of whatever drug I had been dealt. when I got some semblance of reality, I pushed him off, got dressed and ran to my boyfriends house to tell him what happened. does it matter then, in the legal terms, if this was assault or if “consensually” let him enter me? emotional assault, absolutely. compounded by how my boyfriend reacted, leading me to feel worse than I have ever in my life, never telling the full story, until now.

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