Note To Self: I Forgive You
“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” — Les Brown
We always hear about forgiveness. We are so encouraged to forgive and to forget (I think the “forget” part is BS by the way, more on this later). Usually, when people tell us to “forgive,” they are referring to a person on the outside whom has hurt you. They usually don’t mean that you should forgive yourself.
But you should forgive yourself. Don’t forget, but instead learn from your past mistakes. Realize that you aren’t the same person you were 5 years, 1 year or even 6 months ago. In order to keep growing you have to let things go, and that means giving yourself the benefit of the doubt. You’ve learned to clear others of their past crimes, now allow yourself that same freedom.
Everyone is so hard on themselves these days. We lament over things like, “I should have said this,” or “I should have done this,” or “why didn’t I think of this?” You can’t be expected to be perfect in every moment. Maybe you have some skeletons in your closet, or you don’t like who you used to be, or what you used to stand for. This is all part of the human process. We live, we experience, we take in information, we become influenced, and inspired. How you prioritize and process this information shapes the kind of person you are. You are in complete control of your actions, and you can make changes at any time.
For example, I have known myself to be critical of others and in some circumstances, not very understanding. This is hugely attributed to my home life, and negative experiences throughout my existence that shaped my perception. I have learned to catch myself in these instances, and replace judgement with empathy and understanding. There are still scenarios in which criticism is important, and productive, but a lot of things I would worry about were beyond my control or concern. Part of it is a pitfall of an idealist mindset. Part of it is just immaturity.
You have to carefully craft your words, your next moves, and actively build on and maintain your relationships. It’s not going to be perfect every time, but you can work at it. Most things in life are just continuous strings of your efforts. If your life was represented by a chart or graph, I am sure you would see ups, downs, and stagnant points, based on the time and energy you spend towards improving.
So reflect on who you used to be, what you used to say, and do. Who you used to hang out with, what you used to believe and defend. If you have learned and changed [for the better], then that is a great thing. You should be proud of that, and continue moving in that direction. There is no sense ruminating over the past, and things you can’t go back and change, but use that as fuel to push yourself up and forward.
