The Cavs Are In The NBA Finals! And the People Of Cleveland Are Petrified

The people of Cleveland have been sad. And they’ve been sad for a very, long, time.

That’s because they’ve been losing for so long that they can hardly believe they’re getting another shot. But here they are. Once again. The Cavs. In the NBA Finals.

And the whole city is petrified. Petrified of The Jinx.

I know it because my lovely wife is one of them.

You can’t talk about the upcoming game. You hardly let yourself think about the game. You wouldn’t want to have any unfortunate thoughts. And jinx it.

The most intense part of it, of course, is during the game. If her team is behind she cheers and screams and yells at the players as only a cracked-up coach would. But if they’re ahead her whole body stiffens. You could hear a pin drop. She’s getting petrified. Because you don’t want to do anything bad. And jinx it.

There are proven ways to stave off The Jinx though.

Everything unusual that had been done before or during a winning game has to be repeated on the next game. No way around that one.

For instance, on the last game of the Conference Finals I brought over beers she never had before. The Cavs won. And this particular beer brand is now associated with winning. She’s been throwing them down like nobody’s business on every game ever since.

So I’m trying to take advantage of that a little bit.

See, I love BBQ. But good BBQ in Manhattan is not easy to come by. It’s very far away from where we live.

But for the next game I’ll bring over some BBQ from the best place I know. And hopefully the Cavs win. So BBQ instantly becomes a lucky meal and I get to enjoy some tasty food from the smoker until the end of the series. You wouldn’t want not to eat BBQ on game day. And jinx it.

Half rack of ribs and 2 sides for me. With a slice of peanut butter pie please. Thank you honey.

Listen, I’m a guy from France and as you’d expect I don’t care all that much about basketball.

But I can tell you this. If the Cavs win, these people from Cleveland will be the happiest in America.

So I don’t want to jinx it. But I really hope they win.