The mysteries of hillbilly lovin’

I kept seeing it again and again. They seemed to be everywhere across the South.

I’m talking about these odd couples. BIG girls with skinny guys. By big I mean morbidly overweight. And skinny as in “clearly malnourished”. And by everywhere, I mean in the poorest areas.

I kept thinking about it. How can that possibly be? Is there a secret law of attraction, somehow leading Southern famished fellows to mate with obese ladies? Is that a cultural thing peculiar to the South? I just couldn’t figure it out. A complete mystery. Until today.

See, for most people, the man is still supposed to take care of the family.

Which usually means working hard and being strong. So that you can provide for your family and protect them. That’s usually how you take care of your own.

But if your family is poor, and you’re on welfare, things are different.

Taking care of your family means not spending on yourself the money that’s being given to you. So that you can give it all to your people. That’s how you provide for them. That’s how you’re being strong.

So you hardly feed yourself. Maybe a pea here and there. But you stuff your wife’s and children’s faces with fried chicken and waffles and donuts.

That’s how men are strong. And possibly why they’re so hungry.