The Biblical Jesus is not the Mr Roger-Barney the Dinosaur archetype you’ve been sold
Lessons about masculinity from Jesus’s life and ministry which will shock you
Jesus was caring but he was no push-over. Learn his ways
Almost everything the culture tells you about Jesus being a Mr Nice Guy is wrong and manipulative.
Dear Nephew,
As you get older you’ll get many different definitions and descriptions on masculinity, what a man does, who is a “real man”.
Many of those fall into the danger of a single story.
Jesus the Christ does not come up in most of these conversations of masculinity like his ancestor King David who we’ve previously discussed but he should.
And not the cultural perception of Jesus, the sophist, lamb carrying Hippie, who never disagrees with or upsets anyone.
That’s far from the true Jesus of the Bible.
Let’s look at some of the things we can learn from his life and ministry.
TACT
Jesus knew when to talk, how to talk but he also knew when a conversation was a trap. When a question was asked to say something they could hold on to and make an accusation.
This was constant in his interactions with the Pharisees and Sadducees.
His silence was not out of fear or cowardice but out of TACT
a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offence; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situation.
He had a timeline for his ministry and when everything was meant to happen and without tact he would have cut the ministry short.
He also knew when to answer a question with another question because the initial question was disingenuous and loaded. It wasn’t seeking answers but seeking a GOTCHA.
Like in Luke 20:21- 25 they asked him about paying Taxes
21 “Teacher,” they inquired, “we know that You speak and teach correctly. You show no partiality, but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth.
22 Is it lawful for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”
23 But Jesus saw through their duplicity and said to them,
24“Show Me a denarius.c Whose image and inscription are on it?” “Caesar’s,” they answered.
25 So Jesus told them, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
26 And they were unable to trap Him in His words before the people; and amazed at His answer, they fell silent.
Watch many interviews between guests and interviewers from opposite ends of ideological positions, culture and counter-culture and it’s not objective journalism.
The journalist and their network needs the guest to say something they can make go viral and increase the visits to their social media pages.
The book of Proverbs 10:9 states
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,But he who restrains his lips is wise.
Don’t take everything at face value and say everything on your mind.
Don’t speak without a filter under the assumption that people want honesty.
Human emotions and ego don’t work like that.
Part of being a man is knowing when not to engage with a person looking for an argument or fight.
Not to accept the invite to every argument and realise not everything requires a direct response.
REJECTION DIDN’T PHASE HIM
Through out his ministry he dealt with constant rejection: emotional, verbal and physical.
On one occasion the people asked him to leave their town after he performed a miracle, another occasion people tried to throw him off a cliff, another time the tried to stone him to death.
In John 6:60–67 some of his own disciple abandoned him because what he said was tough to hear.
60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”
61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you — they are full of the Spirite]”and life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. 65 He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
Rejection is a part of life. Professionally, socially, romantically. You and the things you stand for won’t be accepted by everyone, it’s naive to think otherwise.
The sooner you become immune to people you thought had your back walking away when conditions aren’t soft life the less devastated you become when they threaten to walk.
HE ANTICIPATED DIVISION
A reason why the cultural idea of a Kumbaya “let’s all get along” Jesus is a false representation is that it’s at odds with his own words, teachings and warnings to his disciples.
He warned his disciples that there’s a cost to following him, not only rejection but hostility and exile from their loved ones
In Luke 12: 49–53
49 “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! 51 Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. 52 From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
This was ideological and spiritual division, strong divergence in worldview, value systems.
2000+ years ago and today parents rejected the sons, daughters for following Christ.
Husbands rejected wives and in some cases(vice versa), reported them to Roman authorities who would then arrest, persecute and kill them.
That happens today in a much milder ways than death but with all that’s happening in the world today, it’s returning.
As we saw with Covid 2020 -2021 it didn’t take much for people to turn against their own family for taking or not taking the vaccination
Soon families will reject Christ followers, accusing them of intolerance, hate speech, bigotry etc, disown and turn them over to the social mob or the authorities
Jesus was not scared of division, he knew and taught his disciples that it was inevitable when you take a stance that goes against culture’s accepted trajectory and the powers that be.
As a man when you take a stand against whats popular/socially acceptable there are people in your life who will try to guilt or shame you into caving in and when that doesn’t work they’ll reject you.
DID NOT PANDER
If you look at Jesus interactions with people he did not pander to anyone.
Not to the elite, the politically powerful, religious hierarchy or to women.
Unfortunately pandering is all too common these days and become a societal norm.
This is especially in male to female interactions, an over-correction to a time women didn’t have voting or property ownership rights.
Relationship coaches and a lot Pastors do this because they know majority of their listeners are women and like marketers they tailor their language to what the women want to hear.
It’s done to avoid losing book and ticket sales if they hold the accountable for their choices the way men they call out men for the failure of the relationship.
So it’s not uncommon to hear male bashing from the pulpit, self help seminars, followed by female deification, the divine feminine tolerating sharing earth with puny mortal males.
By today’s cultural standards Jesus would be considered rude or insensitive to
The Woman at the Well(John 4:4–42),
The Syrophoenician(Mark 7:24–30)
The woman with the Issue of Blood( Luke 8:43–48).
Which is ironic because he spoke to them like adults with autonomy which was not common in that time.
He didn’t treat them like they were fragile and would shatter if every world wasn’t softened. He did not infantilise women.
Those women didn’t let his straight-talk bother them.
By the end of the interaction they got the healing and deliverance they needed from and went away happy.
I’m not saying you should talk to women bluntly, without sensitivity or Simon Cowell your way through every conversations.
Communicate in a civil and respectful manner
But pandering is dishonest and a bad habit to get into.
It’s lip service and the easy way out which creates its own set of problems.
Pandering seeps into other areas of life.
Like virtue signalling online, which is secular Pharisee behaviour. Doing things for appearances to garner praise.
Once again as a man you don’t speak to women exactly the way you speak to your fellow man. Men and Women process what we hear in different ways. We are affected in different ways by what we hear.
But remember there’s always room for TACT when speaking with women and each situation/personality requires its own approach and especially with your wife.
Your relationship/home is not the military and you aren’t a drill sergeant.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you” of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. — 1 PETER 3: 7
RESTRAINT WHEN PROVOKED
When they came to arrest him in the Garden with one word he could have ended their lives.
When he was slapped while under trial he could have commanded that hand to wither or turn leprous, most of us would if we had that power.
His mission on earth was beyond responding with aggression to every personal slight or affront.
Self control is paramount as a man. Don’t get into altercations and fights you can avoid. Self defence is a different matter.
CHUTZPAH
In his book The Jewish Phenomenon Steve Silbiger writes
To succeed in Business or just about any other pursuit, you’ve got to have chutzpah. Jews do. They even invented the word. Chutzpah — call it “verbal self-confidence” if you like its the ability to speak up, say your piece, ask questions, make demands.
Alan Dershowitz in his book Chutzpah defined it as
“boldness, assertiveness, a willingness to demand what is due, to defy tradition, to challenge authority, to raise eyebrows”
Jesus was raised by working class parents.
Joseph his earthly father was a carpenter and he apprenticed with his father as was common in the times.
His ministry started at age 30, so all the prior years he was known as “The son of the carpenter” or “the carpenter”.
When you see it from that perspective you realise why the Pharisees had such a problem with his boldness.
Think about it this way:
A 30 year old blue collar man with only a High School diploma, going to an Ivy league University and out-debating all it’s tenured Professors.
How would they respond?
He spoke with a boldness and authority that enraged the scholars of the day who believed only they had the right to speak that way.
“Who does this uneducated son a carpenter think he is to speak to us. He doesn’t have the education and training we spent years acquiring”
He was meant to know his place, shut up, be silent and be grateful while they did all the talking.
His Chutzpah was off the charts and they didn’t like it.
In todays world between socialised misandry and militant feminism, men are being trained to shut up, keep their mansplaining, space taking opinions to themselves.
Unfortunately a man that stands his ground in a discussion unperturbed regardless of hostility and disingenuous takes, without backing down to keep the peace or agree to disagree with misinformation is rare.
The fear of being called Misogynist, Sexist, accused of male privilege and “upholding the patriarchy” silences many man who want to avoid conflict.
While there’s always the danger of slipping into arrogance at the world needs bold men of integrity who cant be bullied or silenced.
Key word, INTEGRITY.
Nations are built and defended by bold men who don’t allow society to bully them into silence.
Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Steven Biko, William Wallace all pushed back against a society and power structure that tried to persecute them into silence.
Based on their socio-economic backgrounds they had no reason have such effrontery but the history of their people is thankful for that.
You can’t be an effective Man, Husband and Father without Chutzpah.
You need it like Popeye needs spinach (if you don’t get that reference ask your Dad)
You don’t need to be as bold as Jesus. But don’t let anyone bully you into silence when the truth is on the line.
STAYED HIS COURSE
During his ministry man people around him including some of his disciples assumed he was the Political Messiah of prophecy, there to save them from Roman occupation.
The people expected and tried to make him a political leader and revolutionary.
But he was not there to give them territorial and political freedom from the Romans but to give them Spiritual freedom from sinful nature.
Many people will try and impose their own agenda on you.
Sometimes it’s selfish based on what they desire to get from you.
Sometimes it’s genuine because they see potential in you.
They want to pursue an opportunity, a career, a person, which are not bad things but when those are the opposite of what you are purposed to pursue then it’s bad.
HE WAS NOT “NICE”
Thou Shalt Be Nice is the unwritten 11th cultural commandment, thrown around to shut down pushing back against anything the culture has or is trying to be normal.
As if any form of strong moral disagreement = Discord.
The idea that all Christians men at all time are to be like Barney the Dinosaur with everyone all the time, is an attempt to manipulate and guilt trip men into caving in to demands and back off on their convictions.
Jesus was full of compassion for the people he saw in pain, in lack and suffering. But he was also full of truth.
One dictionary defines NICE ; pleasing; agreeable; delightful:
The Pharisees he constantly called out on their hypocrisy would not have described him as nice.
He was not a people pleaser
In the book The Jesus you can’t ignore, John MacArthur writes
Jesus interactions with the Pharisees, Sadducees, scribes and leading priests was marked by acrimony not tenderness. He rebuked them publicly and to their faces. He repeatedly said harsh things about them in his sermons and public discourses. He warned his followers to beware of their deadly influence. He consistently employed stronger language in His denunciations of the Pharisees than he ever used against the pagan Roman authorities or their occupying armies
Sounds the opposite of TACT, right?
On the surface but not really.
There are times he needed to nip things in the bud immediately.
He did not walk on eggshells out of self preservation around hypocritical, blood and power thirsty Pharisees
There are issues which there is no, Come to a compromise or Agree to Disagree.
He did not try to find common ground with them because they were dangerous and uncompromising in their relentless burdens on the people.
As a man you’ll have situations where you’ll have to take a stand for yourself, home, wife and children.
It’s often not a physical stand but spiritual, moral and ideological.
People determined to pervert and warp the minds and hearts of your kids will paint you as evil and themselves as good and noble.
You can’t be nice all the time because the world is far from a nice place.
You should be civil with everyone but not nice.
Teacher,Schools and The Government of many countries today think they know better than parents what they want for their children.
Hiding things from parents, going against the will of the parents and imposing their personal ideology on impressionable children.
You can’t be nice with these people they are relying on you be docile, shutting up and accepting it.
They hope to shame and guilt you into silence by calling you names and associating you with horrible people and groups from history.
You don’t negotiate with terrorists.
Nice these days puts you in a position of trying to win approval and give the other person all the leverage
TOUGH LOVE
In Matthew 16 Jesus tells his disciples that he will be crucified in the future
21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
On the surface it look un-necessarily harsh, after all Peter was being a protective friend and avoiding him speaking negatively but thats the thing.
Not everything that sounds nice and caring is. And Jesus addressing it like he did was because how critical it was to eliminate that from Peter’s mind.
Think about this way, if a 5 year old is playing on the road and a car that’s lost control is heading their way at full speed. Should a neighbor call out gently for them to get out of the road, so the child is not scared? Or run and tackle them out of the path of certain death?
Even if the child has a broken rib do you think the parent would have preferred a crying child or planning a funeral?
Sometimes love needs to be tough on those we care about the most when a soft response is not enough to get them off a dangerous path.
COMPASSIONATE
And he was moved with compassion is repeatedly used throughout the gospels to describe how Jesus was moved by people’s conditions, a medical ailment, serious disease or a famished crowd who had followed him around and listened to him all day.
Compassion was a recurring theme in his life and a driving force, not just for physical needs but also for the spiritual
None of the above is good without being a compassionate man. All those without compassion can make a man cold and distant, almost like cybernetic organism, living flesh over calcium skeleton.
You’ll need compassion as a friend, co-worker, sibling, relative in addition to the previously mentioned traits.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1
Your children will need a compassionate Father.
Your wife will need a compassionate man for her emotional peaks and valleys, especially in the valleys.
You can’t be stern and rigid all the time or you’ll break.
You don’t want to be the Dad who when he arrives the previously lively home turns into ghost town with tumbleweed rolling around.
Masculinity is beyond muscles, physical strength but who you are under fire, what you stand for and how you stand when the rest of the world is screaming and throwing things at you to move.
Make wise choices kiddo. Happy Easter
Till Next time
Your Uncle
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