
Tacita and I
This piece was written after setting up an exhibition in Hull in March 2017. The situation I found myself in forced me to re-think my position as an artists/designer and re-define for myself where is it that I belong to…
And so I got situated next to Tacita Dean artworks. Beautiful large blackboards with white charcoal drawings on them — which I remember admiring some years ago at one or another exhibition at Tate Britain. Now, at the Ferens Gallery in Hull, my experimental, slightly wonky design work and the movie, is placed just to the right from her work. Her drawings are carefully being hanged by people from Tate, working there in silence, like they were touching some spiritual artefacts. I had to wait for my queue for a guy to lift the plexiglass on the plinth for my piece, so we can establish where to drill holes for cables — the activity which took exactly 15 mins. Tacita Dean. Tate. Two gigantic yellow cases for the transport of her drawings. Mine cardboard box — slightly too small for the plastic mannequin, covered with black gaffer tape and wrapped in the bubble wrap. I have no idea how much she got paid for her blackboards. I can only imagine that a lot — Tate transport cases costed probably more than what I got for my piece. It all felt very uneasy. Her work — made in solitude I assume, using the simplest of the medium. Mine — days of experimenting, engaging other people, connecting to the environment, data, new tech, promoting open source, open data, current scientific research and other concepts which can be extremely influential to people shaping their lives and livelihoods all over the world (so I would hope at least). I do not know whether her pieces were commissioned initially, or she spent her days enclosed in her studio with burning internal desire to make them. But I know that my life’s passion is enclosed in my little wonky piece and I invested more than 300% of its initial commission price to make it happen.
I love drawing. I am extremely good at it. Especially charcoal — I have practiced it a lot and exhibited some pieces depicting maps and the sea too (subjects which are so deeply engraved in me — that I often feel that nobody can understand it as good as I can), which gained accolades and appraisal. But I have chosen a different path — in my opinion more useful and functional and much more situated in the society. But what I feel perhaps is an envy. I am envious. I miss a simple act of drawing, its poetry and depth, its weight and meaning and I wish my drawings can also be part of the exhibition.

I do not like this “envy” feeling which I carry. In general I am not an “envious” person, never have been and I am always very happy with what I got. Having seen things all over the world I realise how fortunate I have been. But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t and do not work extremely hard. Of course I do not have anything against Tacita Dean — I love her art and I am sure she is a very nice person. But I think this particular set up shows a huge dissonance between the “high art” world and, well, my world. And I owe it not only to myself, but to my loyal friends and contributors to my work and my amazing hard working, mould breaking, socially and environmentally engage peers to highlight this subject. Our pieces are made out of a need, to some extend out of poverty (in many meanings of this word) and deep necessity for a social, political, economical and educational change. Change for which already might be too late. And I wish our practice is respected, recognised, appropriately paid for and most importantly celebrated. But in the meantime I will try carve out some time in the spring to finish off some drawings which have been laying in my studio, waiting for a time of reflection. Maybe one day I will get paid for that too. Over and out.
Side note 1: the curators of the show since then, in fact the very next day, have moved“Coral Love Story” to somewhere else — a place much more appropriate for its display. Side note 2: I still didn’t have any time to do any new drawings.
