As a community, we Muslims are very poor at understanding the difference between someone’s personality and their character. It cuts both ways between the community and the individual; our natural personality is often frowned upon by the community, while just as often we brush off our character flaws with “this is just the way I am.”

Its more of an art than a science, but it is an important distinction. Having an expressive, outgoing personality is not any better or worse than being shy and quiet. Some people are naturally ambitious while others are more content with what they have. Some enjoy the company of people while others prefer to be by themselves. There are exuberant and joyous people as well as sarcastic and acerbic ones. There is more than enough room in the human family to accommodate everyone.

At the same time, nobody is excused from working on their character flaws. Someone can be ambitious, but can’t allow their accomplishments to make them arrogant and ostentatious. Someone can be laid-back, but can’t let that become sloth and a flight from responsibility. Be enthusiastic and high-spirited, but know when to be serious and beware of becoming fake. Be witty and acerbic, but don’t be insulting and despairing.

Too often we hear complaints (especially towards sisters) about what people should act more like “Islamically” when there are more than enough examples of sahabah of all kinds of different personalities. And yet, if one thing was common amongst the companions of the Prophet (S), it is that they all had outstanding character. We can’t accept arrogance, vanity, rancor, or having the priorities of a child in adulthood just as a part of who we are. Our purpose is to become the best version of ourselves, between both our God-given personality and excellence of character.