FAQ for the Beyoncé + Jay-Z ‘On the Run’ 5K Fun Run

OK, ladies, now let’s get information!

Bey & Jay are always on the run! But where are they going??? To their second annual 5K, obvi. Join them for 3.1 miles of pure Carter family fun.

FAQ

Who run the world?

Girls!

Cool. But who run this race?

Eligible participants include: Tidal subscribers, single ladies, big pimps, anyone who slays all day.

How should I prep?

Wake up, flawless. Post up, flawless. Ride round in it, flawless.

Who sponsors the event?

7/11, Red Lobster.

What will the swag bag include?

Hot sauce.

Where do we start?

560 State Street.

How should I get there?

HOVa lane.

What attire should I run in?

Freakum dress.

That sounds complicated and uncomfortable.

Pretty hurts.

How many problems might I encounter during the run?

99.

Is a bitch one?

You already know.

Can I bring my surfbort?

Why would you do that?

Is it OK to twirl on them haters instead of running?

For sure.

What does the entry fee go towards?

Blue, Sir and Rumi’s college fund.

How can I find a restroom along the route?

Watch (for) the throne.

What will be served at the finish line?

Lemonade, sick beets, jelly (if you’re ready for it).

What was last year’s race like?

Last thing I remember is our beautiful bodies grinding up in the club.

That’s weird.

Yes.

What’s worse: Looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?

I’d rather be crazy.

Can I become a VIP participant?

Lemme, lemme upgrade ya.

So, no then?

No.

Will I get a medal for crossing the finish line?

Winners will receive a holy grail. (While supplies last.)

What’s the max time given to complete the run?

4:44

What will happen if I break the rules?

Boy, bye.

This seems like it isn’t a real event.

I ain’t sorry.

Can I get my money back if I already signed up?

You that bitch when you cause all this conversation.