Once Upon A Kingdom

I can keep on going about how interesting Nigeria gets by the day, although since Donald Trump became POTUS the USA has become quite interesting but I have lived in a number of American movies to know that Nigeria is a far more enthralling place to live in. The hardship being faced by the people in Nigeria seems to be mildly cushioned by the humour we encounter daily.

It is in Nigeria you wake up to the scare of us having a possible Micheal Scofield (Evans the kidnapper) who was rumoured to have 'disappeared’. If it is America they would report 'jail break' or 'prison break' in the headlines but 'disappeared' (in Yoruba it means ó gbérá) is both catchy and fun!

It is in Nigeria you sleep in a terrestrial habitat and wake up in a not-so-terrestrial one (aquatic precisely). You wake up to a fish staring at you creepily and you hear people outside your shore advertising all sorts of funny stuffs; gills, fishing net, water beds(like you didn’t wake up on one) etc. Its really a sad experience (my heart goes out).

In this same country you hear tales of the animal kingdom making news, London becoming the temporary capital of Nigeria and a lot of storytelling. The weaker animals argue over the difference between a proverb and an allegory but God knows I am not weak so I would stick to calling it a tale instead of arguing over such.

The colonial masters probably handed us a 'faux' independence because they were bored and needed humour. Unfortunately, they had too much fun and died with the original version of independence. I still feel someday cameras and lights would just appear on all of us and they would tell us we have been punk’d or something.

A lot of people died fighting for this independence (so the history books say) so I hope this is not a prank.

There is this tale of the animal kingdom going around about a fierce sleeping lion, a younger lion, the lioness, jackals, hyenas(also hyenanas but they are in the other room), wolves and other 'weaker animals’.

Once upon a time in a very green kingdom with flaming trees and luxuriant vegetation where food was scarce , a great lion was crowned king(prior to his coronation, many weaker animals showcased athletic ignorance in honour of him). He was strongly against the stealing that goes on in the food storage of the kingdom.

One day, the lion was taking a stroll after he had been with his lioness in the other room. He stumbled upon a strange pill and out of curiosity swallowed it. This pill made him fall into a deep drowse and the whole animal kingdom was thrown in disarray. They loved their king awake, not asleep because only a lion that is awake can save them from predators, protect the food storage and put smiles in the other room.

It was agreed that London is the only place that the lion king can be awoken so he was flown to London by the aves in the kingdom. He tarried there for many days and this made the 'weaker animals' worried. They prayed and prayed and wailed for their king to return to them. They love their king so much and want him to wake up.

The younger lion, brother of the lion king would see to the affairs of the animal kingdom until the king awakens. Some of the predators however think he is one of the 'weaker animals’, so they begin to whisper and plot on the best ways to trample on all 'weaker animals’, and decide who is best to inherit the lioness should the lion king refuse to wake up.

The lioness is not happy with these whispers, she is in fact feeling betrayed by the jackals and hyenas especially, promising them that they would be exiled from the kingdom once the 'weaker animals' pray hard enough and her lion wakes up. She occasionally visits the lion king in London and always looks adorable.

This kingdom is a troubled one. The lion king is asleep and cannot do much. The younger lion is under pressure from the predators(his faith and position is under attack), the lioness is employing all the tales the lion told her in the other room to respond to predators, the predators are whispering, the colonial masters are most likely chatting, replying one another from either side of eternity with Lmao, Lol, Lwkmd, Lmfao and funny emojis, the 'weaker animals' are......well, praying.

The 'weaker animals' would keep praying because it seems that’s what they say we are good for until the day comes that we no longer choose to be seen as ‘weak’.