BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS
10 “BIG” QUESTIONS; TOO DEEP?

I have always been told I was too emotional and sensitive and extra and passionate. I agree! I do, completely.
You see, before, I use to cry and be sad and try to argue that I am not those things because I thought they made me a person weak. I thought as a growing lady; who should be independent and strong with purpose, I shouldn’t be those weak things. These tags, adjectives used to describe me were beneath me or the idea of how I should be. The idea in my head, the potential of it was the dream (my dream).

When people call me these things as a result of my actions now, I agree. I am emotional, I cry a lot and I get in my feelings. I am super passionate about work and the things I believe in. I trust easily and I love hard. I am careless with my heart and I fail to guard it a lot. I am not perfect but I refuse to run from who I am anymore. Love sucks sometimes but it is everything. Love for God, your neighbor, your dreams, who you choose to be and be with and I believe in it all.
Now you might be wondering, er-mm… why am I sharing this? a bit much? too much info?… You probably don’t know me that well, so with this information you do. Also with this information, you might ask yourself a few questions about who you are or a reassurance of the kind of person you have become.
A friend of mine made me watch a TEDx talk on “How to skip the small talk and connect with anyone”. At first, it was boring but it opened my mind to a lot of things and I learned, instead of engaging in small talks, why not skip to “the Big talk”. There’s is an entire movement on engaging in Big talks and to be honest guys it’s a whole thing.

I thought about this long and hard and realized that we are so used to small talk and minding our business that other people and things around us seem so small. You can’t be bothered about your neighbor’s struggles, dreams because you are out there living your life. We live and miss out on stories and lessons and a reason to be truly grateful and an opportunity to be inspired. Even our friends… Our families, they don’t know a lot of things about us and we don’t know about them because we haven’t searched deep enough. I experimented with this by asking some close friends of mine and I got to know so many things I didn’t know and it felt so good for both of us.
In this post, I am going to answer 10 Big questions I got from my head, and the Jubilee show, “Tea for Two”. I hope this post inspires you to always dig deep when it comes to you and others. It doesn’t have to be friends and family. Care enough to ask, love enough to listen and learn, to be inspired!.

- WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED MEMORY RIGHT NOW OR GROWING UP?
_ My most treasured memory right now was the first time I wrote and got good feedback. The particular one would be when I wrote my first real stock analysis and my boss called me and said there’s something about my writing that is a breath of fresh air… it was easy to read and simple to understand and he loved it. Why this was particularly exhilarating was because I never use to accept I could write because I never wrote about anything else but myself. I always thought they were no good. When I started work and they made writing my job role, I freaked out and it felt like I will fail and die. It was hard at first, I even got in trouble a few times because of what and how I wrote but I kept going. I had a lot of support from my friends at work- they are now friends, not colleagues. I would drag them to read and edit and correct. Shout out to my favorite girl Gbubemi for all the support. She mummified me in writing and encouraged me to start this blog so I can enjoy my writing and truly I am always excited to write. Anything from the heart is true.
2. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE TOLD YOU WILL DIE IN A YEAR?
_ I haven’t actually given this much thought. Hmm…I would go home. Then I would travel to Abu Dhabi after gathering all my money and asking nicely for the rest. I have always wanted to go to Abu Dhabi and Norway and New Zealand and South Africa. I will go bungee jumping and skydiving and donkey riding. I will swim because I have never swum before in my life. I would write a book about myself of course! An autobiography. I would go see all my friends, read as many books as possible, I would buy Art. I would go and sing in all the cool places I can think of. I would dance hard and laugh hard and spend my remaining months in my room at home with my family still writing in my journal, singing and collecting only the coolest music.
3. WHAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A PERFECT DAY FOR YOU?
_ Any day with a good movie with lots of food and a good book afterward. Nothing would hurt if I have a good laugh and lots of great music. Sharing all this with a group of friends or the one I happen to love would be great as well.
4. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE CHANGED WHILE GROWING UP?
_I am grateful for my parents and everything they did for me. I am so glad they raised me and my siblings. However, I wish I was and could be closer to them. They didn’t give us or me the opportunity to choose a lot of things. We couldn’t be ourselves around them and they never really saw us. I wish I could be closer and more open to them and even my siblings.
5. IF YOU COULD WAKE UP TO AN ABILITY, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY??
_I have always wanted to travel the world and so I would like to be a Jumper. So I can travel at will. But if I could pick 2 abilities, I would love to read minds as well. It will save me a lot of stress and heartache.
6. I WISH I HAD SOMEONE WITH WHOM I COULD SHARE …?
_My passion for getting things done and my ideas on almost everything (They are quite unpopular and considered weird a lot) … Also, I wish I had someone with whom I could share the desire to be reciprocated (like do unto me what you want me to do unto you). But Life is not that way and love can rewire you and keep you doing more even though you would never get anything in return. if wishes were horses, I would ride them to and through the galaxies.
7. WHAT ARE YOUR GREATEST FEARS?
_ I used to be afraid of dying, but that passed because sometimes on some days, it’s all I want. I am afraid of failing and taking risks. I am afraid of losing people I love(the fear of abandonment) when they are going away physically or emotionally. The greatest of them all though is being afraid I will amount to nothing because what I want most in my life is to change the world in my own little way (i am just trying to get the world to listen, Y’all!). So just dying without doing that or failing at it would break me in a million irreparable pieces or even kill me.
8. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED ALONE AND IN FRONT OF SOMEONE?
_The last time I cried alone was this morning. I am such a crier if you know you know. I was seeing a movie and as a result of being a “deep” person… the interpretation of the scene and the entire movie made me cry. The last time I cried in front of someone was 2 months ago or so. I was depressed and my friend asked me what was going on and as I explained… I wept while she looked and waited for me to truly exhaust my tears and then we talked. it was tough, no one has really seen me weep like that.
9. WHAT ARE YOU MOST GRATEFUL FOR?
_I am most grateful for my family and friends. I have always asked God to give me good friends and he has always answered my prayers. Every new place I go to; I end up being friends with the most amazing people. Family always show up when you least expect. They are the friends you never choose. You know, the ones hand-picked by God to be in your life forever. They will always be there. Appreciate them, love them.
10. WHAT HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED/DREAMED OF DOING BUT HAVEN’T DONE?
_ There are a bunch of things I dream of doing but haven’t done. Singing has always been a part of me and my dreams but I have always ignored it. In my head, there are too many people in the world that are singing, how would mine be different? What makes me special or talented? How would I make a career out of this? Travelling is also one of the things I dream of doing. I dream of having a food and fashion company… I have been dreaming of this for ages and I hope it comes true.

See? It wasn’t that bad! Or was it? All of these deep and honest questions straight from the heart is a way better conversation starters/ makers than the basic things. In my opinion though.
Quit the small talk guys and move on to bigger things. If you are reading this, I challenge you to ask yourself these question and truly answer. I don’t have to know your answers but tell me how it made you feel after. You can ask your friends and/or family and see how deep it gets. You can also add your own “BIG” questions as well. It’s great to be back writing because it’s been one hell of a block!
ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE!!!
