JAMAIS VU (NEVER SEEN III)
To catch up on the series you can refer to episode 2 herehttps://link.medium.com/WIkvlldBe1
Episode 3
“Lord where are You? How many times will I go through this? I have to break it now. I can’t let myself get hurt again. Who would want a damaged freak? I have been jumping in and out of relationships like a conclusion. Why Lord?”
She cried.

She never allowed anyone to get close enough. She had no "real/close" friends, last time she did landed her to her present predicament. She could not take the risk to be honest about her past. She had been hurt too deeply to make herself vulnerable again.
But this was different. She loved Femi. Hot tears streamed down her face soaking her pillow. And....
Dang! Just yesterday, he proposed !
She knew she had to be honest with him; they had been together for six months now. She had to tell him and break the relationship. But her heart longed for him — this is the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
"What if he rejects me? "
Fear clutched around her ankles.
She wanted to float and all she needed was to let herself go. She was tired, not physical fatigue, a draining tiredness that numbed the margins of her mind.
Should she take the risk to be real with him?
She had a plan. Yes! This was the plan that would make all the difference. At least this way she just might be understood and reasoned with.
"End it all, now ".
She tiptoed to the room, wore her favourite black dress — the one with sequins. She began to wear her paddings slowly one after the other as one would neatly arrange eggs in a basket. She decided to wear very light makeup this time but enough to conceal her scars. This way, at least she would have made an impression.
"Dress the way, you would like to be addressed", Dad had always told her.
Then she drank it, bit by bit, slowly. She remembered she didn't leave a note, but that was too cliché, she thought.
She could almost hear Mum's voice now
"Ah! ọmọ yí tí pamí! Bisi! " (this child has killed me ). Well, only Mum cared and maybe Femi. She could at least leave an apology, but she didn't.
She hoped she wouldn’t be too messy when they found her body. Slowly the effect of the rat poison was telling on her. Slowly she faded away into quiet. "Now it’s settled", she thought as she stopped breathing.
"Do you call yourself damaged when I have created you beautifully for my glory? When would you learn to accept that I am working out my purpose in you if you hide behind the façade of falsehood,Trust me (God) and I will take care of you, Bisi didn’t and now she’s gone ".
Credits to : Irene Olumese for Effectual magazine.
We have come to the end of the short story series “JAMAIS VU" . I know for a fact that a wide range of thoughts must be going through your mind.
- “Why did she have to kill herself?"
- “Why didn’t she just tell Femi about everything? Love covers all they say!”
- “Why and more whys"
Hehehe sometimes, some of us get overtly bodily conscious and we get busy trying to conceal some certain images or versions of ourselves, some characters, but you can’t hide forever. At the end, being you is the real deal. You sleep well at night and don’t have to remember which version of a lie you told so you don’t mess up the next time.
Thanks to all who followed the series so far. I love you and you can’t do anything about it.
Stay blessed and remain safe in God’s love.
