I downloaded Clash of Clans today.

I knew it was a strategy game and I’d seen it around for a while — the Top Grossing list in the App Store, Muni ads — so I was curious. I deleted it a few minutes later.

I’ve played freemium games. I knew what I was getting into. But this time, being taught a habit loop that starts with spending in-game currency (“gems”, 500 for only $4.99!) and ends with victory made me cringe. Maybe it was too familiar.

Circa 2000, I could be spotted playing Age of Empires on our home LAN. My older brother and I would each take a computer (in the basement and on the ground floor, to prevent devious screen-peeking) and strategize into the night. My younger brother spectated, running up and down the stairs and grinning with omniscience. He knew that just beyond my fog of war I was surrounded by castles, each producing a stream of janissaries and trebuchets, and he could see the future. I don’t think I ever beat Ryan.

There’s a reason that games like Clash of Clans employ convertible currencies and recycled mechanics: they make a ton of money. And it’s hard to blame them, given the economic rationality of it all. I’m glad, though, that I wasn’t able to short-circuit hours of critical thinking and concentration by spending some cash. Each win earned rather than bought was that much better.