I am a white male. Please forgive me.

My street-angel house-devil, depressed mother made my life hell, she was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive, she was a dictator and because of her behaviour, my life was a nightmare, which made me leave school at 14 to be able to earn enough money to get away from her, I needed independence. I had no one to look after me, no advocates appointed by the state to keep me safe from this she-devil.

Unfortunately there was a severe recession at the time I left school, but I was desperate to get away from the lunatic asylum I had lived in for 14 years, so I walked from factory to factory knocking on doors and saying I was willing to do any job, I kept this up daily for two weeks, hundreds of factory doors, from one to the next, as though my life depended on getting a job, and then, bingo!, I was offered a job cleaning filthy front end loaders, outside, in the middle of winter.

Because of my home life, I also suffered from depression and anxiety. Every day was a total nightmare in my head, but I needed that money and had to drag myself out of bed each day to get my freedom pay-check. I saved and saved until I could move in with an older friend who understood the situation with my mother and was happy to give me a safe haven for board and rent that I could afford.

I had no education, because with my emotional state as it was, I was always distracted in school and always came close to last in the class, I was regularly brutally punished by sadistic Catholic nuns and brothers because of my inability to stay focused, always day-dreaming, always looking for the attention I didn’t get at home. I had no safe space in the world.

So here I was, at the bottom of the barrel. I had to make a choice, am I going to sink or swim?

I chose to swim. I pushed myself for years to learn skills that would help me lift my way out of the bottom of the dung heap.

I of course became an alcoholic, cigarette and drug user, to try and deaden my emotional pain, but it only made it worse. To overcome my depression I would play poker machines in the hope of getting the big one, and for the little adrenaline rushes I would get from seeing the wheels stop close to a major prize, but never winning the cigar, this of course made me even poorer. I spent one week eating nothing but oatmeal.

I was really down the bottom. For three years I was living on the street, surviving day to day, the same place my father ended up before he died from alcoholic poisoning.

I kept fighting, I read everything I could get my hands on in libraries about self imrovement and positive thinking. I had job after lowest paid job in factories and door-to-door commission only sales jobs, I worked digging roads, I worked in a railway cool-room transporting whole, skinned, sheep carcasses over my shoulder, to hang on hooks. No wonder I turned vegetarian :o) I even had to clean toilets and work round-the-clock shift-work at times, which destroyed my natural sleep cycles, maybe why I became a David Letterman addict.

So what’s the point of all this “woe is me”.

I am white, and no one ever gave me a hand up through discriminatory “Affirmative” Action programs, no one said, “Oh a whitey down on his luck, we have to make allowances for him”. In fact, I know of two jobs where I was knocked back because they had to fill Affirmative Action program quotas. The jobs instead went to women from privileged backgrounds.

When I moved to a European country and applied for jobs, they rightly wanted to make sure I was able to have good communication skills because I wasn’t brought up in the same culture and I found it impossible to get a job, so what did I do, well I certainly didn’t claim unfair discrimination, I instead went out and created my own company and made money without the middle man. I now have a very successful business.

I was given nothing, no make that less than nothing, I had obstacles put in my way all my life because of my socio-economic-education background, my whiteness didn’t help me, in fact I was penalized by unfair “Affirmative” Action programs, when I was the one who really needed help. No wonder 75% of suicides are male, I’m often surprised that I’m not one of them. I never gave up and I never will give up, no pathetic SJW programs will stop me, I live on a parallel universe to people who want to be in a victim-class.

Here’s my advice to any young people who are coming from behind the 8 ball. DON’T LET ANYONE TREAT YOU LIKE A VICTIM, BECAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU WILL NEVER BE RESPECTED, BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. DO ANYTHING, CLEANING TOILETS IS BETTER THAN SEEING YOURSELF AS A VICTIM.

Thank god I was never offered an “Affirmative Action program.