Art by Kasia Derwinska (


We seem to assume that all possible possibilities in the universe — and all that it encompasses— is within the probability of plausibility. That all possible outcomes, millions of chances, uncountable arrangements of matter and the fast multitude of thinkable life stories, are simply within our very grasp. Could happen to us any time. Tomorrow maybe, or the day after. Us then becoming a fabulous Broadway star, meeting our very own twin soul or owning an ostrich farm somewhere in the dusty outback of Aussieland. All only a moment away. We want it. We long for it. We desire it. We know we can have it.

Yet out of all these seemingly infinite possibilities, only a minor few are actually within the realm of reasonability. Conceivable to our being. Applicable to the energy formations of contemporary spacetime. Isn’t everything part of a chain of events? A river full of waterfalls, stuffed from nose till tail with fishing spots. One waterfall following the other along the stream, jumping high out of the water, presenting us with only a very limit options out of all that potentially could have been. Of the wide expanses of fertile land it’s cutting its dedicated way through. Now only a small finite number remains logically feasible — capable of materialising and merging into the present moment. Bound by laws of attraction and falling apart. Unfolding events. Constantly changing form and vessel.

And even this very small number of options is not really what it seems. Guided by our current state of being — physical, emotional and rational — we take paths, make decisions and go ways by what comes natural to us. Feels best. Makes sense. Setting things in motion where nothing becomes something and some things become non things. A dance of balance. A union of essence in the moment of now, surrounding us, time and time again. Where the direction we decide to take, is essentially not a lot more than the sum of our physical, emotional and rational options. This is the best dance we could have danced. A sum of our state of mind, feelings, internal capabilities and external impossibilities. The freedom within the given moment. We always do what seems best, choose to go where feels right. But given all the prerequisites, all factors, all atomic arrangements, this was really only one of the few possible outcomes. All events—from stardust to world wars, from the evolution of life to your very own procreation — resulted in you reading this. You being you now.

Yet we still assume that we have so many choices, so many possibilities, an incomprehensible freedom of movements to shape every possible world. Yes of course there is a freedom of speech, freedom of choice, within the moment. But endless storylines? I simply believe that not to be true. Yet our believe in it is beautiful. Beautiful in freedom; touching in longing; moving in hope. But in the end it’s only a mere trick of the mind not to feel trapped in a cave. A fantastic parade, feeding ourselves with bread and circuses. Our believe in this freedom is as intangible as a bone-dry sandtraveller captivated by the veil of a mirage. All it does is that it keeps us from total surrender. Surrender to the stream, to the not-knowing, to the bigger one. It is a thin layer of non-essential existence particles we see the world through. As thin as an unborn turtle’s shell egg, covering up the essential particles making up our source existence. Keeping it away from what’s most important, and the only real certainty there is: now. What it asks for is trust. Trusting in life. Trusting that whatever happens can facilitate you.

So let’s rip it of! Rip of these masks, false hopes, untrue pretences and unfamiliar familiarities. Rip of the sad stories about someones we’re not, unrightfully claims to other ones love. Rip of the porcelain doll skin and plastic porno facades! And show. Show the roughness and ugliness hidden underneath. Reveal your weak spots. Share your bittersweet tastes. Wear your early morning look instead of a magazine coupe, let those freckles shine in the sun. And be. Be you. Be truly you. Only true to you. Only you can be you. The you that has hidden buckets full of happiness within itself all the time along. The you that has been the love you were looking for all along.

And then, well then all is left to do is just look. Look around you. Feel your senses. Let the air collapse into your lungs. Breath life. See the light scattering within your eyes. Translating these beams of photons into vivid images which seem so real and tangible. The now happening within you in this very moment. And this might even make you wonder what kind of sparkly and astonishing universe is being born — every second over and over again — in the person sitting next to you. Or in your grumpy neighbour across the street. A tiny, but massive the same time, universe of beliefs, experiences and wonders in all of us. A whole different reality than your own, just a few meters away. A pulsing bigbang, evolution, revolution, little gem, right underneath that someone’s plastic facade. BANG! A new ‘now’ once again exploding in your face. Doesn’t that feel amazing?!

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