A word thing #753

Serene (adjective) — tranquil, calm, untroubled, unruffled

— — —

Serene is just like the way everyone describes their lives, except the exact opposite. People say stuff like, “Ugh, I’m so busy and stressed and I feel like I’m dying.” That is not serene.

Serene also means “without losing self-possession.”

That means serene is a lot like super pro tennis player Serena Williams. Someone who is serene is totally okay with losing. They couldn’t care less. They’re fine. Not bothered at all. Serene means “not agitated.” Serena Williams is never agitated. Okay. Wait. What am I doing. Maybe serene isn’t like Serena.

The only way Serena Williams is close to “without losing self-possession” is the “without losing” part. Because she does not lose. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever lost anything in history. And you can fact check me on that (please don’t fact check me on that — but if Serena Williams decided to fact check me on that, she would probably end up being right, because she does not lose).

So really she’s the opposite of serene. Her name even gives it away because it’s like “Serene? Nah.”

Serena Williams = not serene

Which brings us to Eminem. Lose yourself? It’s like the person who was in charge of writing the definition for “serene” deeply hated Eminem and wanted to use everything in his power to spite him. And the only power he had was picking what one word that no one uses means. So he was like, “I’m going to make serene mean something cool, something that people want to be, and I’m going to make sure it means the opposite of everything Eminem stands for.” Since the only Eminem song he knew was Lose Yourself….. “without losing self-possession.”

Eminem = not serene

Last thing: serene means unruffled. Let me explain the logic behind this. Ruffles are okay chips. They’re just okay. Maybe top 30 chips. The top five chips are (definitively):

  1. Cool Ranch Doritos
  2. Original Lays
  3. Pringles Tortillas Zesty Salsa
  4. Kettle Brand Sea Salt & Vinegar
  5. Straight up tortilla chips

So, serene is a good thing. Ruffles are a bad thing. Serene means un-Ruffled, which means un-bad-thing, which means good thing. You get it.

Ruffles = not serene

At this point, I really don’t care if you know what “serene” means. I just want it to sound funny to you for the rest of forever. Serene.


Sir een.