Agape Love

Olawunmi Oduyebo
Aug 28, 2017 · 6 min read

“I know my place in the community. I am not considered as upper class but designated as lower class. As a result, I’m ok when my family and friends from other socio-economic status do not visit me because of where I live. I am also ok when these same family members and friends visit, but decide to bring their food with them. Apparently, the food I cook is made of dirt and cannot be consumed.

“There are certain churches I’m not allowed to visit because of my financial status. These churches only allow individuals from middle or upper class in their building. We have no place in that community, how dare us consider attending service there? I am ok with this, this is how my country is, so I’ve come to accept it.”

“I have to pack my bags and travel to another town for at least two weeks during the election period, because my neighbors are from a different tribe. We are probably voting for different candidates and I fear that our political differences will eventually result in my death”.

“When the Trayvon Martin case happened, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, and all these different things happened, every single case it’s some little black asshole behaving like a savage, and he gets himself in trouble, shockingly enough. Whatever problems I might have with my fellow white people, they generally are not inclined to such behavior — and, you know, you gotta kinda take that into consideration when you’re thinking about how to organize your society.”

“This city is run by Jewish communists and criminal n*****s! That’s exactly what it is.” “And that’s true, by the way.”

These are words from personal conversations with my Kenyan friends during and after the elections and from white supremacists from the Virginia incident.

These recent events and the expressions from people has left me heartbroken and burdened by everything going on in today’s world.

After analyzing the events and quotes above, i’ve concluded that the common trend here is “the lack of love for one another”. The love I speak of is Agape/Sacrificial love: the love that Christ has for us.

“Agape love is the “Unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not”.

To provide context on conversations that transpired which generated the quotes outlined above, i’ve included more information below. (For purposes of protecting the identity of the individuals involved in this conversation, I’ve changed the names of all parties involved.)

Quote #3

Caroline Lari (Kikuyu) and Ken Otienno (Luo) have been neighbors for the past 25 years. They both live in a small town in Kisumu, Kenya. Their children went to the same school and played with each other almost every day, they frequently borrow things from each other- sugar, salt, tea etc. They attend the same church, have weekly bible study in each others homes and have regular dinner parties.

This may seem perfect on the surface, but unfortunately, one of these families has to leave town once every five years because of the Kenyan presidential elections. Caroline or Ken and his family, have to flee from Kisumu for at least 2 weeks or a month in fear of being injured or killed, due to potential election results. I cannot comprehend having to find a temporary home every 5 years out of fear that my neighbor and I may have a dispute over election results, which could end up in bloodshed. And these are the same people I have Bible Study with?

I am saddened by this reality Kenyans and many others have to face. How can we say Kenya is 80% Christians and still have the events described going on? How are we Christians and are fearful of each other? Is our Christianity secondary to our culture or out of convenience? Where is the fruit of our Christianity? What lenses are we utilizing to look at each other? Our cultural/tribalism lenses or God’s lens?

What happened to Galatians 3:28? It says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. “

What about Mark 12:29 where Jesus talks about the commandments: Jesus says that the following:

29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

This also brings up 1 John 4:18: , “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.”

My brothers and sisters, we need to do better. We are all one in Christ, regardless of if you are Yoruba, Hausa, Kikuyu, Luo, white, black, pink etc. This change has to start with us. Yes, including myself!

Quote # 1 & 2

My name is Muthoni and based on the earthly standards, I’m considered to be part of the upper class community. I also live in Kilimani. My friend, Shannah, based on earthly standards is considered to be from the lower class community. Shannah lives in Kabiria. Shannah visits Muthoni on a regular basis and during her visits, she eats at Muthoni’s home. This allows Shannah to journey through life with Muthoni through Muthoni’s lenses. It allows Shannah to explore her world and broaden her horizon as an individual.

Based on discussions this weekend with my two amazing friends, it appears that the reverse (Muthoni visiting Shannah and journeying through life with her) is not the norm. Actually, it is frowned upon and seen as taboo.

Why is it taboo for Muthoni to visit Shannah at home? Is it because Shannah lives in a tin house or a bedsitter, which is all she can afford? Why is it commonplace that if Muthoni visits Shannah in her home, she has to carry her food with her. Why is Shannah forced to be ok with the fact that because Muthoni and her are from different economic classes, Muthoni will never journey through life with her through her lenses.

Finally, Mark 12:29 where Jesus tells us about the second most important commandment: 29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Quote # 4 & 5

I honestly cannot begin to discuss the issue that occurred in Virginia this past weekend. I understand that a lot of my “white friends”are alarmed and shocked by the events. However, this is what a lot of black people have had to deal with at work, in the bank, with cops etc. As a result, this is all too familiar for us. I am happy that things done in the dark are being exposed. Now that it’s out, let’s talk about the way forward. Where do we go from here?

“I really urge us to search our hearts and pray Psalm 139 on a daily basis:

Psalm 139: 23–24

Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting”.

Although I am heartbroken and burdened, I thank God for hope. I have hope that God’s Kingdom will come down on earth as it is in heaven. I have hope that the world I envision, where individuals truly love each other regardless of tribe, race, religion, sexual orientation will happen one day. It might not be in my lifetime but I have hope and faith that it will happen.

And because of that hope, along with assurance that God is seated on the throne, I am happy. I choose not to look at what’s around me but to focus on the promises of God that will never fail.

I am challenged as an individual to do better, to be the change I want to see. It has to start with me. I also challenge everyone reading this article, the change has to start with you. Yes, you! What are you going to do differently today? Is there someone that might have offended you? Do you need to reach out to them and extend Agape love?

Let’s take the first step and pray that God will allow us to see each other through His lenses and not through our earthly judgemental lenses. Let’s pray that God will help us love each other regardless of our differences. We all can and need to do better. The harvest is plentiful and the laborers are few. It’s time to wake up, it’s time to unite together. We all need each other.”

Thanks Labake for editing this article.

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