plague and exile — with flowers, of course

personal ….. highly, highly personal. Do not read this substandard piece of writing if you don’t think it would have any thing to do you. You might not even want to read if you think it does. Either way, it’s your call. What the hell.

It’s been a few days, or has it been about a week, that Natalie and I haven’t been very very comfortable with each other. Honestly, I don’t know how to say this in the most apt way possible, but let’s just put it that we’re on a break.

Perhaps it was because I essentially displayed all my emotions on the table, or maybe it was just a culmination of thoughts and discomfort (?) in her head. Anyway, I hope she’s not putting herself through shit.

I haven’t done anything wrong, and I have nothing to brood over. So it shall be then.

But of course, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. A lot of thinking and very little writing, hence the horrible standard of words I’m producing at this moment.

This break has really slowed down the pace of my life. Really though, I have to say, from that day in Percolate all the way till her last day in Tokyo, it seemed to really pass by in a flash. But now, I suppose it’s a good thing. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and a lot of consolidation of thoughts.

I really have little reason to doubt, do I? Doubt myself, her or our ties. And I suppose it all boils down to trust. It really is just a lot of trust and belief, I realise. Not much else truly matters.

I’d like to believe that there is really no negative change. And up to now, I’m just about believing it, I suppose.

Silence is a good thing.

The thoughts and feelings I’m unable in this horribly insufficient and shallow collection of words, I hope you can read in between the lines. Or maybe, not even read, just know.

This is alright for me, but of course, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you soon again. Of course I’d take photographing you and making you smile and making you happy to the best of my ability any day, if that’s possible. But I’m sure it is. I trust you.

Everything passes, and we definitely have places to go and time to spend.

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