I mean, I lived in SF for a bit. I live in Brooklyn ( home ) again now. I’d not raise a child in either location. I’d not attempt it. I figure most guys I know think the same way. Aside from one friend who needs to be in the city for reasons of union / health benefits, most of us agree we would leave the city to raise a family. Costs would reduce salary would go further. I work in tech and can work remote from most locations.
More to the point the financial stress of trying to raise a child in the bay area specifically is intolerable. I don’t understand even the desire to do so. Mind you, I hate the bay area so I guess that jades me on that issue.
But, when it comes down to it, I think I hate the idea of raising a child in a city. Cities are full of assholes. And assholes kids would make my kid worse.
I don’t know who you are running into in the bay. I hated 95% of the people I met there. But my guess is most folks who are serious about raising a family are serious about not being in the bay.