We don’t always end up with the person we love…

Sunny-side up

In the days of our youth, love is such a passionate thing. It’s filled with that fiery, intense love which has the power to irradiate our lives. We start to live in the utopian world in our minds; perfect, flawless and without blemish. It consumes us to say the least. It’s like a well done jigsaw puzzle; each and every contour of the piece fits into another destined contour, just like how we fit in. Our sparks kinda make the immediate world around us jealous and secretly took out some sadistic pleasure from that. During that time, the world was our oyster and nothing could harm us or deflate our happiness.

I became a strong advocate of, “True Love.”

I had found that evasive “true love” which others couldn’t. Cupid had done a good job. Love kinda gives you that uplifting force where we have the desire to do anything; everything is within the realm of possibility. And then dreams overtake us.

I’ve dreamt of a million scenarios, in a million different exotic locations with her right next to me. I wanted to share all by closest moments with her; my accomplishments, my failures. I wanted to hold our hands together, look at each other, delve deep into each others mysterious chest-nut brown eyes and kiss her when the sun rises assuring that everything will fall into place. I wanted her to be my partner-in-crime whether it was sky-diving, kayaking, samba.

“Being a hero to her and she being mine”

“Being an inspiration to her and she being mine”

“Being one with each other”

These words echoed into my mind — But slowly and gradually, darkness creeps in, there’s a sea of change waiting to happen, we’ve hit turbulence.

Flip-side-Down

One of the few things people don’t always tell you — sometimes in life, you can’t always have that special person with whom you envisioned living the rest of your life, sharing dreams, supporting them through kith and kin and having 2 or more monkeys in your life and living happily ever after.

You don’t always get to keep them. You don’t always get to be around them.

Why?

During such times, love sorta becomes unfair and is a bitch. In the pragmatic and dynamic world we live in, not everything’s fair in love and war. Love isn’t the only parameter but is influenced by a myriad of other factors which might break or make it up for us to have each other.

During the “head-over-heels” period, everything seems all rosy and dainty.We tend to ignore all the thorns which manifest, we treat all them alike. We’re in the moment and yes, it does feel like infinity. Only if it had been set in a distant utopian diaspora which isn’t bounded by the confines of rifts in religious tectonic plates or differences in caste, sub-caste, inter caste, or some other socio-economic-political reasons.

So what do we do? This might be the biggest challenge you might face. Biggest decision yet.

Letting her go!

I know, I know, she is the perfect girl for you, the prettiest in fact. The purest soul perhaps.She’s worth everything and can be measured in rubies and emeralds.But what can you do? Sometimes we’re not just meant to be. And that hurts — hurts for the fact that we cannot do anything to set it right. In that situation we’re all helpless and hopeless. Sometimes the universe conspires against us, it’s jealous and green with envy and all powerful. Love is more powerful ?! you say? I’ll take an equivocal stance on that.

Sometimes I even think — why can’t it be as easy as saying, “ Hey, you look beautiful! Can we get married?” I reckon that was pretty much the scene in the 30’s all the way up to maybe the 70’s until relationships and marriage become a messy complication.

Fight or Flight?

From what we’ve seen and experienced, fighting for it can be one of the plausible solutions. But usually, such solutions are hindered by the characteristic trait of an individual.

“How strong are you?”

“Are you both equally strong? Can you hold up to the challenges of society and parental pressure which might even convert you into a hard-hearted soul (albeit the shine)

Quite a few of them find solace in letting go of their lover — their best friend, their partner, their body-guard, their go-to-guy. And that is not a easy task at all. After naming our kids as a result of our figment of imagination, after dreaming about those sun-sets in Hawaii, after all those hours of countless banter about what we should do in the future.

Letting go of that very special person is quite a herculean task, capable of turning us into stoics.

But hey wait, just look over on the flip-side. Remember those memories you both created when you spent time together. Aren’t they still fresh as the blades of green grass which cut through the soil after monsoon. Don’t they linger? And don’t you feel good about it?

Keep that special person as platonically close as possible ( a misnomer perhaps? no, you can, trust me) Keep that friendship alive.

You either live by letting go of her, moving on and cherishing those moments in that utopian mind which you still share with each other or live long enough to see yourself becoming a serial psychopath, a loner, an addict, a loser.

Don’t let them become your obsession.

And just a word of reassurance

There’s plenty of love out there which both of you deserve.

Go find your correct jigsaw piece and complete your life’s puzzle.