SOMEONE’S GOTTA DO THE SHOPPING

He didnt see the neighbor’s kid come in through the kitchen entrance. Couldnt hear the bags rustle as he placed them on the counter. Didnt notice him wandering through the house, rummaging around, going through all those popular sicence magazines or thumbing through the engineers digest. Couldn’t see the kid touching all the mirrors, fiddling with the name tags tapped to their frames. Familiar names like Cassiopeia & Betelgeuse, Cygnus & Rigel & countless more lining the interconnected corridors of his vast home. No. The man didnt see any of this because he was out in the garage, doing his daily good deed for the world.

He was so focused on his single task that he didnt even notice the kid had come into the garage until the white noise feedback from the projectors slapped him across the head. "SHUT THE DOOR!" he bellowed. Shocked by the venom in his words, the boy lept over & slammed it, but not before seeing something curious in the sky; himself, slamming the garage door. "Whats going on here?" the boy hollered. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT IN THE SKY?!?" The man, draped in vantablack robes was wrapped in a spool of Christmas l.e.d.s, dying flashlights & broken yellow glow sticks. He continued his strange ritual, moving slowly through the room, stepping around shimmering, arcane scribbles on the floor, erie stained reflections splashing out from the thousands of mirrors on the garages blackened walls. "I am the sun. These mirrors on the walls project my image into the sky. What you just saw was a protection of yourself as you entered the garage." Confused, the boy only shook his head, screaming "YOU’RE...A LIE! A FRAUD!"
Patiently, the man replied "No young sir, I assure you. I am the sun. In fact, I am every star. You see, our calculations on cosmic expansion were off. Turns out it was moving a bit faster than anyone realized. Somebody had to keep the lights going." The whole time he spoke he never broke character, never haulted his routine, wandering around the darkened garage with its pitched out windows, flicking clumps of foggy light at the wall mounted mirrors, keeping the idea of the sun & stars alive in the minds of billions. "Isaac." the man said in low questioning regard. "Did you remember to leave the groceries on the counter, kiddo?"