Sticking with a decision

Matt Anonymous
Sep 3, 2018 · 3 min read

How can I follow through with my biggest life decisions? I’m good at weighing both sides of an issue and making the decision. I’ll identify the different factors, write out my thoughts, then go for a walk and think about it. After a few hours or days, I’ll make a decision.

But then I start to doubt. I see contrary evidence, read something that raises questions, or tell a friend that isn’t supportive. I remember that my new path will have challenges, risks, and take hard work. I come down from my post-decision high. My excitement, conviction, and certainty gets replaced by fear, doubt, and uncertainty.

Given this, I’ll restart the process of making a decision as follows.

This isn’t ideal for all the reasons listed in the diagram notes. It’s a super long, super painful process, and it’s all very unnecessary.

Instead, I’m replacing this with a much more effective process. It’s my decision making 2.0.

Here’s how I’m sticking with a big decision I just made:

  1. Take concrete, point of no return actions. The more the better.
  2. Minimize the time between making the decision and executing on it. The smaller the gap, the less room for doubt.
  3. Promote the decision to myself and get excited about it.
  4. Talk in the declarative.
  5. Remind myself every morning why I made the decision
  6. Recognize — and be ready for — doubt and uncertainty. They’re part of the process.
  7. Ask any friends I tell to support and encourage my decision. Tell them I’m 100% committed to it, and I want their help in sticking with it.
  8. Congratulate myself on making a tough decision, and pushing through to execute it on! This is a crucial skill and leads to a much better life.

An example of the first four above if I had decided to move to New York:

  1. Book a flight and sign a New York apartment lease
  2. Decide to leave my job a month earlier so I can move in 8 weeks, not 12.
  3. Read articles about how great New York is, and talk to friends in New York about how much they love it
  4. “I’m moving to New York on July 1st”

Some other great thoughts on point #1, pulled from a Heidi Halvorson article:

Research by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, shows that reversible, keep-your-options-open decisions reliably lead to lower levels of satisfaction than irreversible ones.

Once we make a final, no-turning-back decision, the psychological immune system kicks in. This is how psychologists like Gilbert refer to the mind’s uncanny ability to make us feel good about our decisions. Once we’ve committed to a course of action, we stop thinking about alternatives. Or, if we do bother to think about them, we think about how lousy they are compared to our clearly superior and awesome choice.

And a great point from Dr. Halvorson herself:

Assuming that your choice is carefully considered and you’ve weighed your options, you will be both happier and more successful if you make a decision — and don’t look back.

Making your decision irreversible seems scary but it helps you stick with it and — believe it or not — makes you happier.


Making a smart decision is usually pretty easy. Sticking with that decision and executing on it is much harder, and I’d encourage you to try some of the techniques above so you can cultivate conviction, and can follow-through with your biggest life decisions. This is a great muscle to build, and starts a powerful positive feedback loop.

Every tough decision I’ve made and stuck with has worked out. They probably weren’t all 100% optimal (i.e. the absolute best path I could have chosen), but they were all decisions I committed to. Because of this commitment, I was motivated and made them work. I enjoyed the process, and the outcome.

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