How to meditate when feeling stressed about it?
For about five years I have learned to meditate and meditation has been a routine for me in the morning or when going to sleep. It started when I was going through the infertility process and I could not see the meaning of life. It felt like I have no purpose on the earth as I can not get children.
So I started to meditate and also to live in the moment. This helped me in many ways and I got more happy and started to live a life I wanted.
Stressing about meditation
Lately I have not been able to meditate. I lost the routine some time ago, can not remember when it was. Now I have tried to start it over but all I have been feeling is frustration and stress about not being able to relax.
When I start to meditate I first try to relax and concentrate on my breathing. This autumn all I have been able to do is to just stop the trying because all I can think about in that moment is “why can I not relax”, “why is this so hard”, “what is wrong with me” etc… That does not quite help in meditation..
The one thing I realized was that I have to stop to try to relax. All I should do is to start from the beginning again. Start the process all over from the time I learned to meditate. Because if I can not relax enough the whole attempt of meditation is not helping.
How to find relaxing state of mind?
When I started to meditate years ago I learned a lot from Jon Kabat Zinn books and by searching information on youtube and google. The thing you have to do first is to just be in the moment. Accept everything. Accept you are not able to relax. Accept you feel anguished. Accept you can not meditate.
Then after accepting yourself in this moment you can start concentrate on your breathing. Just breath. Feel how it feels in your body. I often count my breathings. I usually count about 5–10 breathings and then I start to feel how my body feels.
Then I spend a little moment to listen. I listen to the sounds I hear in my house. I try not to judge anything or feel anything, I just take notice of the sounds and move forward to a new sound.
Now I can feel myself more relaxed. Then I try to feel how my body feels. I do not judge anything, just feel and go through my body with bodyscan. I think about my feet and feel them. Then little by little I go forward and scan every body part. Finally I come to my head and the moment I relax my eyes and brain I often feel totally relaxed. After this meditation has usually been quite easy but now I often can not even come to the part I go through the body scan because I feel stressed.
So I decided all I can do at this moment is to breathe. I tried this yesterday and it really helped me to relax. I should not judge myself for not being able to meditate more. This is enough for me at this moment.