First Pillar of Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness

By Jennifer Askey, Advisor, Leadership Development, Human Resources, Health, Safety and Environment & Adjunct Faculty, Modern Languages & Cultural Studies, University of Alberta

People with high EQ are, generally, optimistic. This doesn’t mean that they view the world with rose-coloured glasses, but that they recognize approaching challenges with positivity is more likely to lead to a positive outcome than approaching those same challenges with cynicism, defensiveness, or anger. As we continue to explore the pillars of EQ in this article series, you’re invited to reflect on the distinction between events and the meaning you attach to them. Sometimes (not always, of course) it is the story we tell ourselves about events that lead to our frustration, anger, or sorrow, rather than the events in and of themselves. Growing your EQ can also mean recognizing the degree to which emotions and stress are within your control.

The first pillar of Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) model is self-awareness. Encompassing self-confidence and self-regard, this cornerstone of EQ provides a list of competencies that allow us to assess how well we know ourselves emotionally and how well we trust those emotions and use them to motivate decisions that lead us toward self actualization.

Know thyself. To thine own self be true.

Poetic words that, when examined closely, reveal that we need to both know ourselves and understand what it means to be us. Emotional data to pay attention to when examining your self-awareness:

• Are you aware of the nuances and depths of your emotions beyond “sad, mad, glad?”
• Do you understand your emotional reactions to people, things, and events?
• Can you track cause and effect in your emotional temperature?
• Do you love yourself? Do you treat yourself with compassion and regard?

Responses to pandemic restrictions, working from home, and budget cuts offer an excellent (if fictional) illustration of self-awareness in action:

Professor Smith is the department chair in a multi-disciplinary department at an institution that did not make its final call on in-person versus remote learning until the end of July. She has been fielding anxious emails from faculty members and students in her department for months. With the semester two weeks away, she learns that the online registration system at her institution has incorrectly listed several courses in her department, leading to low or no enrolment in those courses. She is outraged and wants to call the Office of the Registrar to give them a piece of her mind.

Upon reflection, Professor Smith realizes that her outraged response is actually stress and fear looking for an outlet. She recognizes a familiar flushed feeling in her cheeks and a tightness in her throat that she’s learned go hand-in-hand with her feeling out of control. Simply by recognizing the stress and fear, she has demonstrated and activated her self-awareness and self-regard. And because she knows and loves herself, she knows she can choose a more resonant course of action. Here she begins to move from the pillar of self-awareness to self management.

Each pillar of EQ is intrinsically tied up with and implicated in the rest. For me, though, the journey to exploring and growing your EQ begins with a profound and loving awareness of who you are in mind and body, and what makes you tick.

Stay tuned for a future post on the second pillar of emotional intelligence: self-management, and for information about upcoming development opportunities related to this topic. Subscribe to our PD newsletter for more information. If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to Jennifer Askey at jaskey@ualberta.ca.