Don’t Let Rejection Define YOU!

Defeat is not the end of the road.

“No, thank you”

“You’re perfect, but It’s not what we looking for at the moment”

“It’s not you, it’s me”

Anyone who has lived enough has been there. It has happened to us all.

And it always starts the same way. You have high hopes for a job that has the potential to become a dream one, and then you never heard back after the interview.

You’re looking for investors to launch your “edgy-latest” start-up, but an angel investor denies you financial support on the spot.

You met someone you like a lot, but that person disappears after the first date, cowardly.

No reason to belabor the obvious. Rejection sucks. Period. Yes, it sucks the energy out of one’s soul. Puts you in a downward spiral of emotional discomfort and gets the best out of you.

The pain of being excluded is real. It’s even physical. It influences our psyche, mood and cognition. Rejection hurts like being punched in the gut with brass knuckles, especially after you’ve taken a leap of faith at your own risk.

“AARGH! AARGH!” That is the sound of frustration after defeat has invaded your body unannounced. All of the sudden your body is numbed with self-doubt thoughts and whatever confidence you had, banishes.

Rejection has a toxic nuance to it. An open vein draining your highest draw of vulnerability. Let alone feeling unworthy, your own self is so trampled on that you don’t even know if it’ll recover its original shape anymore.

Greater minds went through hell and failed resoundingly before getting their big breakthroughs and their highest peaks of achievement in their careers. Their secret? Well, they persevered. They kept going. They believed in their dreams. They didn’t give up. So, Why should you then?

Troubled times drive you forward in life. At the end of the day nothing gets done if one is stuck in the past. Suck it up and let go compadre because attachments aren’t destined for success. Every time I have jumped out of my comfort zone it’s when I’ve gotten the biggest amount of defeats. Then, why in hell am I exposing myself to this kind of pain? Orge, are you a masochist? I might as well be, but exposure pushes you to the limit. Nobody likes to be turned down, yet the process of trial and error is imperative in order to achieve something in life. Basically, in order to thrive one has to get beaten up a couple of times.

Stop It From Holding You Back

Don’t allow rejection to break your spirit nor your goals. You are not going to be the first nor the last human being to feel lost, miserable, or unwanted. Let alone, downtrodden by the system.

Nobody is perfect anyways and when you try to be one. When you strive for utter perfection, an expectation hole digs in, once you’re unable to fill it, you’ll feel empty, like a washout. Instead, rethink failure as a gain. Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” “What did I gain?”

Years ago, I was bad at job interviews. I always let my nerves got the best of me. Talked too much. And had no confidence whatsoever. After tons of disastrous interviews. I sat down and started to work on me. I asked myself: “What are you doing wrong?” “Is there something you could improve?”

So, I dried my disappointed tears and did something about it. I turned to some friends for help. I invited them over and asked them to carry some ‘fake’ interviews out. Once they finished, they told me something I didn’t want to hear. I wasn’t being my true self. I was faking it, but not making it. Hadn’t I gotten all these rejections, I might have never gotten better at interviewing, consequently I landed a job a month later after more than a year on the hunt.

Build The Resilience

Rejection mostly often proved to be an excellent growing experience, and even though at the beginning you might not see it, later in time you’d be grateful you didn’t land that job or got into that relationship. Remember, bad weather always passes over. Even when that pain in your chest gets in the way. Keep pushing yourself forward.

Tough skin is not an easy thing to build. To toughen up your spirit one would have to go under some adversaries and beat downs. It’s ineluctable, but necessary.

Nothing it’s worse than trying to avoid situations where you might get turned down. Instead, embrace the risk and go after what you want to pursue. You might as well not get it in the first try, and that’s totally fine. Keep trying. It’ll get better and after some time, you’ll not only get stronger and fiercer but that thing you were pursuing as well.

If it’s hard to see it now. Keep a positive mind. If it is meant to be. It’ll be yours.

Just because you’ve been rejected by one company or by somebody doesn’t mean that every company or everyone else will too. Just think about all the awesome things you have to offer and try to illustrate those qualities. Be true to yourself and don’t try to become someone you’re not. That would be your biggest fail. Rejection is the first step to achieve success. Be ready to fight; the road might be unsteady and, in a world full of unforeseeable fates. You can expect ANYTHING to happen.

Do whatever it takes, but never EVER retreat.