Where I Am When I Am Silent:

In a place of anger; enraged at myself:
for lying with men with no substance except the micro second release,
For choosing the momentary pleasure over my path to purity, 
For letting my heart leap at the empty words drenched in honey 
That I walked through every door blindly
Hoping to come out soaked in a love that matched those words

In a place of shame: 
That takes me on a train and stops at every encounter that bruised my wings and pulled out my feathers
Leaving me broken and bare
And even those dear to me used words to dig further into my wounds
Claiming to 'correct' but neglecting the root of my pain

In a place of unworthiness:
Of a love of my insides too 
Because a lust for my exterior is all I ever knew 
A trail of clothes from the night before
That laced the floor
And guilt in the morning that laced my eyes with tears 
And laced my heart with a fear of whether 
My prayers would reach the ears of my Father


In a place of boldness: 
Knowing who I belong to: 
The one who crowns me with honour and glory 
Who placed beauty in my heart
And a garland of wisdom on my neck 
Who dressed me in purity
Made me a masterpiece
His work of art

In a place of warmth:
In the arms of an amazing man
Whose words wrap round me
Like a campfire at dusk
They carry weight yet are soft
They make me feel safe enough
To risk

In a place of peace:
With my Prince of Peace
As I pray and He promises
To grant me ease
Instantly...I am at ease 
In His presence, I find my peace

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