Dissolving Our Fear of Death: Stoicism and Memento Mori
“Let each thing you would do, say or intend be like that of a dying person.”
Death. It’s not normally something we’d sit around talking about over a beer. If anything it’s an area of life you and I probably avoid.
Either way, I think we can both agree that neither of us want to die, right?
It’s a pretty deeply ingrained human instinct.
Is that a lion? — I probably shouldn’t go over there
Is that hot? — Probably shouldn’t touch it
This seems high — I won’t look over the edge
Look there’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — I probably shouldn’t walk over and punch him.
When you strip us down to our bare bones, our basic, instinctive wiring is to survive and replicate. Given that this is true, death is a non-desirable. So much so, that we don’t even like thinking about it, contemplating it or accepting it.
And, while the denial of death can make us feel warm and fuzzy, it can lock us out of the Stoic benefits that can come from it’s contemplation.
After all, we’re all going to die. We’re all temporary, our time is limited, and our experience of this crazy ride of life will come to an end.
Stoicism tell us that reminding ourselves of this reality can hugely improve how we live day to day. The Stoics taught that; in the constant reminder of death, we can learn how to live. Counter-intuitively, thinking about death can help us live better, happier and more present lives. Here’s how:
Memento Mori is a phrase that has spanned both time and culture. It’s been used in meditation and philosophy by people from the Stoics to the Buddhists, all in an effort to achieve more gratitude for life, and a perspective that makes our existence more vibrant.
Simply put, Memento Mori translates from Latin to; ‘remember that you must die’.
Memento Mori is a reminder that your death is inevitable, your time is limited. There will be a day where you and I won’t wake up to enjoy the beautiful chaos of life.
It’s one of life’s guarantees. No matter where you are born, how rich you are, or what you do during your life, you will die. Death is simply change, and change is life.
Many of us will avoid thinking about death’s uncomfortable inevitability. The slow approach of the end. However, for those who know how to use it, the reality of death helps cultivate a greater appreciation of life.
Humour me for a moment and imagine that you only have one week left to live. I imagine that you have a list of things that you would do, people that you would spend time with, and places you’d go.
Memento Mori uses the same same principle but instead of one week, we have 80 odd years. Looking honestly at our mortality helps us clarify what’s important.
STOICISM:
The ancient Stoic philosophy is full of examples that instructs it’s students to meditate on death. To contemplate our own mortality.
In his letters, Seneca speaks of the benefits from meditating on death:
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day…The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus recommends that whenever you spend time with your loved ones, whenever you hug your family or kiss your partner, you should remind yourself that they are mortal. One day they won’t be there. This constant reminder of death helps us appreciate what we have. Impermanence makes things more valuable.
Even the Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius practiced Memento Mori, contemplating his mortality to guide his actions:
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”
Stoic philosophers did not see death as a morbid idea to be avoided. It was an aspect of life to be accepted and used to appreciate each new day, remain grateful for the time we have, prioritise actions and not waste time.
PLATO:
In Plato’s Phaedo he recounts the death of Socrates, arguably Athens’ most famous philosopher.
Socrates famously met death with a calm indifference, his last words were said to be uttered to a close friend about paying a debt of chickens.
Plato argues the study of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying”. Therefore in life a philosopher should have at the forefront of their mind, death.
JAPANESE ZEN & THE SAMURAI:
We’ve all heard of the Samurai. We all probably wanted to be one when we were kids. But how many times have you come across their philosophy?
The Samurai used death as a mental practice to enjoy life, conquer fear, and become better warriors.
“The Way of the Samurai is, morning after morning, the practice of death, considering whether it will be here or be there, imagining the most sightly way of dying, and putting one’s mind firmly in death. Although this may be a most difficult thing, if one will do it, it can be done. There is nothing that one should suppose cannot be done”
A comparison can be made between human life and the Japanese cherry blossoms.
In Japan, the cherry blossom has become part of the culture. The pink-white blossoms can be followed through the country as is moves North with the change in temperature. A large part of what makes the blossoms so beautiful is that they only last for a week.
In a similar way, enjoyment of life becomes more profound because it is fleeting.
BUDDHISM:
The Buddhists of Tibet have a practice called Lojong in which there are The Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind. One of these Thoughts is the contemplation of death and our impermanence.
It consists of the following:
- All things made from other things are impermanent.
- The human body is a thing made from other things.
- Therefore, the death of the body is certain.
- The time of death is uncertain and beyond our control.
This idea was designed for daily contemplation, to prevent the natural human tendency to behave as though we have all the time in the world.
This central teaching of the Buddhist practice is called maranasati, or “death awareness”, and is thought to be a core part of living a better life.
You and I can gain a lot from using some of this Buddhist wisdom. It helps us become aware of how short our time really is, and in doing so helps us question whether or not we are making the most of the time we have.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
For me, Memento Mori has a certain amount of order and chaos.
Our base human nature is chaos, over time it will influence us to act like we will live forever. It will normalise our lives and make it easy for us to take it for granted.
This chaos is balanced by the order we apply through conscious thought, awareness and gratitude. This order helps us appreciate what we have, and prevents our more primitive nature from taking it all for granted.
However, order is like bathing. You can expect to do it once and stay clean. It requires constant maintenance or we risk slipping back to taking life for granted and behaving like our life will never end, inevitably being shocked when it comes, and maybe a little regretful.
Memento Mori.
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