The Thing About Moving On
Ok, there it is. I’ll write it at last. All the feelings yesterday I thought were just delusion, I think it is real now.
Here’s the thing about moving on. I did, finally. Can’t deny that I feel nothing anymore.
The twisted feelings are now clear that, I don’t want him anymore.
I used to pray that she’ll break his heart, but then I think it’s not so good of a wish. Because she won’t and it will be him anyway, who does. I used to pray that he won’t be happy with anyone, that he finally will realize no one can love him like I did. He pretty much knows this. I used to pray that he will come back to me, pleads in tears saying he wants me — and I, no longer want him.
But then, I suddenly don’t. I stop praying on those things. Now. I think I just don’t care.
And I wish he’ll be happy with everything he does now. With anyone other than me.
I’m basically not this wise, but that’s the truth, guess that what I am feeling right now.
And when it is ended, our story will be, too. He will be a part of my past now. And I think everybody knows that I don’t let my past lingers in my present — I don’t have any room for it. Even he knows it very well.
Although it’s so hard to be open up to someone, to start again, I don’t mind because I can even forget the last time I cry.
All the things in the world, I choose love. And I will choose it all over again. But I can’t force the universe so that the love will come from him. I can’t force that it should be him, because it shouldn’t. It wil be from someone else who’s willing to stay, someone who’s really for me — without I even asking.
So yeah, I think I don’t think about him anymore because I just know that he doesn’t deserve that.
I know he doesn’t deserve to love or to be loved, but let the life decides for him.
That’s the thing about moving on, I think. What really matters now is that I am happy. Never thought I’d be this happy. Well, yeah, happier without him.