What Sad (Are)

I think it’s sad when you met a girl at the ladies room, tears ran down her cheeks and ruined her make up, and then she washed her face, redo some make ups to cover her sadness, practiced some fake smiles. You watched her finally out and smiling to her lover who had waiting there, like nothing was ever happenned.

Or maybe when you saw thru a girl sitting in the passanger seat of a car, next to her lover. You watched clearly that her neck was turned away ninety degree, looking out the window, tried hard to hold back her tears from falling — silently cried and wiped those tears. She pretended to be okay and still managed to respond carefully to the conversation.

Or maybe at some points in life you stop due to the traffic light and heard a girl sobbing in her motorcycle, half her face is covered but you could tell that her cheeks were all wet that she was crying out loud in her heart. She wore the earphone that played some sad songs just to justified that she has the right to cry. And then the sign was turning green and she went as quickly as the wind that cloudy day.

Or perhaps by any chance you know a girl crying in her room and she forgot to locked the door. And when her mother suddenly came in, she dropped out try to control her trembling voice, wiped the tears in seconds, acted like she was just angry and raised her voice so her mother could leave her alone. She broke down right after the door’s closed.

What sad is to feel not okay at all and instead of telling them how you feel, how miserable it is, and how you want to put it to an end to this, you just did not, you just couldn’t because you’re not good at telling your sad story. You just bury it under your pillow and let your sleep forgets all of it.

I just wish you’ll never experience this in your life. Because somehow it’s okay not to hide your tears, to not holding it back. Show him that you hurt, that you’re not okay instead of pretending you are. It’s okay to feel upset about something and telling him the truth. If you feel so afraid that he may get mad, he certainly isn’t right for you. How come a guy be upset knowing that he hurts her? It’s insane that some guys out there thinking how trivial, how easily you’re being hurt. It’s crazy that he doesn’t care about your feelings. He only care about the causal, that it’s not that important which could make you in tears, and you shouldn’t be hurt in the first place.

So, when you think you may have this guy in your life, please leave him.

And perhaps that girl was me, or maybe someone out there, trying hard not to feel hurt — not to show that the person she loves the most, hurts her the most. You deserve being loved in the same amount you do. You deserve to love the stars as much as they adore your existance. You deserved to be loved by the universe as much as you love living it here. So yeah, you deserve it.

And he doesn’t.

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