Day 29: Narcissus
Exhale as you walk out the door
Delay the knee-jerk reaction to mentally go over the list in your mind for the hundredth time this morning
The list of everything you wish you could change about yourself
Pay attention to the music playing through your ear phones
Smile and wave at your friend
Did she flinch?
What could it be?
Do you smell weird?
No, you are not smelly
You sprayed your favourite perfume this morning
Walk together, laugh and talk
No, those girls you just walked past can’t be giggling at you
They don’t even know you
Sit down with all your friends and pay attention to what they say
Argh! not that damn list again intruding into your mind
And no, those random strangers in the corner don’t care how much Nandos sauce you’re pouring over your chips
They aren’t looking at you
Oh no, did you just offend your friend by what you said?
Gulp your water down and watch her intently
No, she’s laughing now, clearly not offended
Go to the shops and buy something nice for yourself
Eat some cake
Hug your friends goodbye
Today was about celebrating you after all
You, with all your success
Your friends tell you they love you
They always tell you
You know they love you
Or do you
You love you
You’re trying to love you
Lie down on your bed and focus on absolute silence
You’ve had much worse days before
Today was a good day.