Day 29: Narcissus

Exhale as you walk out the door

Delay the knee-jerk reaction to mentally go over the list in your mind for the hundredth time this morning

The list of everything you wish you could change about yourself

Pay attention to the music playing through your ear phones

Smile and wave at your friend

Embrace

Did she flinch?

What could it be?

Do you smell weird?

No, you are not smelly

You sprayed your favourite perfume this morning

Calm down

Walk together, laugh and talk

No, those girls you just walked past can’t be giggling at you

They don’t even know you

Calm down

Sit down with all your friends and pay attention to what they say

Argh! not that damn list again intruding into your mind

And no, those random strangers in the corner don’t care how much Nandos sauce you’re pouring over your chips

They aren’t looking at you

Calm down

Oh no, did you just offend your friend by what you said?

Gulp your water down and watch her intently

No, she’s laughing now, clearly not offended

Calm down

Go to the shops and buy something nice for yourself

Eat some cake

Hug your friends goodbye

Today was about celebrating you after all

You, with all your success

Your friends tell you they love you

They always tell you

You know they love you

Or do you

You love you

You’re trying to love you

Lie down on your bed and focus on absolute silence

You’ve had much worse days before

Today was a good day.

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