but here’s where i struggle.
Lia Goloff
1

Hi Lia Goloff.

I read your rant and had a sense of deja vu. In fact this was just that in the literal sense because it hit me: I had read another response of yours to Ezie’s piece on Kellyanne Conway-

Keen to see what written work you have done to highlight these issues you care so deeply about, I visited your medium page. I cannot seem to find these articles I would have expected to find. Interestingly I noted that the vast majority of your responses are directed at Ezinne, which I don’t blame you for- she is one hell of a writer.

However, I’m afraid I am forced to ask myself if you are more interested in highlighting these issues, or just simply chastising Ezinne for ‘failing’ to highlight them because she focuses on issues faced by black women.

Remember the time she wrote those pieces that did the rounds on the Chibok girls? Or the time she was featured on that radio show in South Africa because of her Beyonce and black sisterhood piece? Her pieces have resonated deeply with many black women in different parts of the world.

Ezinne and I are from the south and north, respectively, of the same country. We have both seen and felt the pain of various issues that I am sure neither of us has fully vocalized yet. So do not for one moment think that we tell our stories for them to be entered into any kind of Oppression Olympics! Frankly that is presumptuously insulting. We, and in this case Ezie, say what immediately needs to be said for black women. That in no way erases the painful experiences of others, or indicates that we don’t care about them.

What you have done here is straw man! Which ironically is one of the hallmarks of white feminism, which you have just spent a long time trying to convince me you aren’t a part of.

Why not go tell the stories that move you? Stop trying to shut us up. Stop underhandedly threatening that allyship is based on how well we treat your feelings. I do not want an ally who wants to feel that they are putting some good into the world, meanwhile I stand silently in pain like some ornament, decorating their shelf of ‘all the good I do.’

Your initial reaction contributed to my inspiration for writing this piece:

which as you can see, I am doing now.

And in conclusion,

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