I took a facebook sabbatical…
…and here’s what happened. There are a ton of blogs about this and a ton of research about why you should take a break from social media if you haven’t. My version isn’t anything new. I just want to put down in writing why I needed a break, how I took a break, what taking a break did for me, and what I’m up to now.
Let’s start with this Forbes article, which was the one that really pulled it all together for me, along with a serious come-to-Jesus from my buddy Kelvin. Here’s an excerpt for all you TLDRs:
“If Facebook is so detrimental, why do we keep coming back for more? Part of the problem, as other studies have found, is that people make significant “forecasting errors” when predicting how much happiness they’ll get out of using Facebook. They assume they’ll be happier after a bout of Facebook, but in fact they’re unhappier in lots of different ways. And this prediction problem may explain a lot of the addictiveness-unhappiness phenomenon among users.”
Like many others, I was addicted to facebook — it was how I kept in touch with distant friends and family, and by extension, “the world.” I was finding myself spending more and more time scrolling through my feed for that hit of happiness — someone’s vacation photos, a funny cat video, or any kind of good news from the many people I care about. In between those little hits of happiness were volumes of material I didn’t need in my life. Sponsored content — irrelevant. Political and social commentary — depressing and unhelpful since it’s almost always about something I can’t do anything about. Bickering and nasty comment sections, the true junk food of the internet — irresistible and leaving you feeling sick, sad, and nauseous.

Back to that talk with Kelvin. My friend Kelvin has NEVER used ANY social media. Other facts about Kelvin: He is a millennial. He is a cool guy who stays in the know about the world. He lives a full, exciting, and well-rounded life. He has a solid career, marriage, family, and social life. Coincidence? On a trip to the coast he gave me an earful about why I need to quit social media. I mentioned the article above (I read it both before and after our talk) and how I was considering taking a break. Kelvin told me about the algorithms that are designed to keep you online longer, and put something into words that I hadn’t quite heard before: facebook gets paid with, and sells, your time. They have found a way to turn time into money and you are just giving it to them for free.
After that I knew I needed a break. I re-read the Forbes article (and about a dozen more) and tried to check it less. That didn’t work. So I laid down some cash. Someone told me about the Freedom app, which costs $18 for a year. You set yourself “sessions” where access to social media sites are blocked — you decide which site and how long the sessions are. I set myself 7 back-to-back 24-hour sessions on repeat blocking facebook. I just picked facebook because it was the site I felt addicted to; I also use Twitter (very rarely), Instagram (daily, but for about 5 minutes total), and LinkedIn (not often). Then I deleted the facebook app from my phone. I set a goal of 30 days mentally. For 30 days I will not look at facebook.
Because I occasionally have to use facebook for my job, I continued to log in at work — just less often — and went directly to the organization’s page to do my business and be gone. I ignored the 86 notifications piling up. 86?!?!! I also kept Messenger on my phone because it’s basically a text message app. However, I don’t get notifications from it so I don’t use it much.
It has now been 30–40 days (I lost count). In the beginning, I started to use Instagram and LinkedIn more as if to compensate for not getting to waste my time on facebook. I “painted” a few more pictures with the Lake app. I even played a few rounds of Bejeweled Blitz. Clearly the addiction is to the device as much as it is to the medium. That was the first ten or so days.
The next ten or so days I leveled out. I realized one day that I didn’t miss facebook AT ALL. That’s when I really started to feel free (and stopped counting the days). I didn’t miss the endless half-hearted invitations to public events or the exhortations to join in on some political action this or that. I didn’t miss the bickering. I didn’t miss the hand-wringing. I didn’t miss the rage and anger and impotence I felt reading about everything that was wrong on earth from 20 different news sources, none of which I could be sure was entirely credible (hence reading all 20). I didn’t miss any of it. At all.
I read two books last month — big ones. Usually I average 1 book per month. I intentionally hung out with people I wanted to see — even spontaneously seeing a friend at the park on my way home and just chilling with her for a while. I walked to work more often; I put my phone in my purse and didn’t take it out all the way there. I spent significant time in my garden. I cooked a bit more, and had a lot more fun. My everyday life is the same — and I have plenty to stress about, believe you me — but it was almost like a vacation, in the sense that interesting things happened and I didn’t feel the constant need to share (or I did, but I resisted the urge).
The past week has been especially interesting. I deleted the LinkedIn app from my phone. I might take a break from Instagram, too. I find myself caring less about staying digitally connected and more about being present.
