How can a true Christian help the weak?
Helping a Friend, love one or brother in Christ through the Darkness of Depression. I’m in a emotional stage of depression. It’s one of my darkest moments of my life. What do you do? How can you help? Some have asked and I reply I don’t know. With many uncomfortable situations, our first reaction is to run, to ignore, to hope someone else helps them with their issue, or to wait or hope it will pass, but Christ shows just the opposite, He was present, fully involved, always had time for people and deeply cared about the individual. We can do the same!
Here are some things you can do for your friend, love one, family member, in this case me suffering from depression. Above all else, if you suspect your friend or family member is depressed, strongly urge them to see a doctor, professional help. There are many things that cause depression, or what might look like depression, and they absolutely must be checked out by a doctor. This doesn’t necessarily mean they need to be put into a mental hospital.
Just a few practical ways you can help. First thing listen. Let them talk. Everyone feels better after having a good talk with a friend, especially when they’re feeling depressed. Even for a non-depressed person, it is emotionally healthy to share thoughts and feelings with someone else. Allow them to talk without judgment. Never tell someone they shouldn’t feel the way they do, or that what they feel is wrong, or that what they are doing, saying or feeling is contrary to the Bible. I feel badly enough already. A person needs love, reassurance and support, not judgment. Allowing a person to feel heard and understood without being judged is one of the most powerful ways to make them feel loved.Sometimes I’ve said maybe it would be better if I weren’t here. A person who actually says this is or has probably already thought about ending their lives, in which case a professional is needed. However, when you are faced with this, sometimes depressed people say this to see how the listener will respond . Sometimes it is said for attention. Sometimes it is seen as a way of control over their own lives. I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I also know what a selfish act it really is, that I’m only thinking of myself, but when you’re in the depth of depression you don’t know or think straight and I also know that a permanent scar will be left in my family and friends.
I realize and know you can’t fix it. Whatever problems are wrong in my life, you can’t fix them. Whatever issues are causing pain, you can’t repair them. You can listen and reassure, but you can’t fix. Understand that true depression is an illness, and illnesses that must be treated. You can’t just get over heart disease or diabetes. Same as a depressed person can’t just get over being depressed. I would love nothing better, but it doesn’t work that way. It is a medical and emotional issue that may require long term treatment. Walking with someone during this time is a valuable gift. You can see the light they can’t. And you can’t make a blind person see what they can’t see, but you can help guide them.
Another thing you can do, invite them out. A depressed person will stay home all day every day if they could, and some do. Invite them to lunch, dinner or a sporting event. It might not work or they might turn you down, but don’t give up. They need to be with others and need to be out and about. Being out in a park, beach etc. is especially healing. On the other hand, if you sense your friend is having a bad day and just can’t talk, that’s ok. Let them have their space and call back in a couple of days. You can send texts, emails or cards, too. Knowing they are loved will help, even at their unlovable stage.
Also encourage the person to take care of themselves. Ask if they’ve done anything for themselves recently. Ask if they been eating ok etc. Many depressed people forget to care for themselves. They will care for others, but self care is another issue. Maybe even sit down with that person one day and help them make a list. What things make them happy? What do they like to do? Depress people are especially prone to neglect themselves. For years I thought taking care of myself was selfish. I just don’t mean treating myself to a cheesesteak or a buying a new pair sneakers or just sitting around watching TV, playing softball, walking through the mall just window shopping, etc. I thought it was a waste of time and selfish. Then I finally learned IT IS ONLY SELFISH IF IT HURTS SOMEONE ELSE! When You are wiped out and or depressed, the first question a therapist will ask is, What are you doing to take care of yourself? Bam! there it is.
A person who is depressed need to be assured of God’s love and your support. Gently remind them, in whatever creative way you choose, that God loves and values them more than they know. He is always with them and has promised to never leave. Likewise, assure them of your strong friendship. Many times this isn’t easy. Depressed people are hard to love sometimes, and I know that’s my case, but knowing they can always count on you can be their calm in the storm.
Assure them of hope. There is hope in God. Pray that God the Holy Father, may give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I know Him better. Also pray that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I know the hope to which He has called me, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. Eph. 1:17–19. Theirs is not a permanent condition. There is healing and a light at the end of the darkness. There is always, always hope. And finally, pray for them. Pray, pray, pray. How many times do you find yourself praying for people who are physically ill? Pray with the same conviction and for those who are depressed. I need it so very much and at times I’m not able to ask for it.

Encourage medical attention
Encourage seeing a professional therapist
Be a good listener
Do not judge
Understand true depression is an illness
Promote self care
Engage them — don’t let them isolate themselves (but allow space when necessary)
Assure them of God’s love and your support
Assure them of hope
Hold on to the hope for me, and pray toward the end, that the day will come when I stand in the light of God’s healing and love with you! And I want to be a help to others when I get better.
Sincerely, Orlando
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