I continue to fight the demons

It’s been sometime since my last blog. I would love to say that all has been good, but I would be lying. I’m still fighting those stinking demons. There has been more sadness in Ellie and my life along with the rest of our family. On May 23rd the Lord called my father in law Julio Sr. home. It was so sad to see him go he was so good to us, but he’s in glory now as he was praying where he wanted to be and now enjoying eternal life. Even though he will be greatly missed we know he is forever happy and that gives us peace in our hearts.
Ellie continues to deal with the effects of cancer even though the tumor was removed, but the battle continues. My job situation is not good it looks like another year without a raise which will be five straight years now. Responsibilities have been increased, but not the paycheck. I’ve applied for the job of Public Safety Director, but I have a snow ball shot in hell of a chance to get the job, but so did David against Goliath. Now I have to be honest I am worried about our financial situation because we are living on one income and it’s not much. We continue to pray and so far we are still surviving, but the fight continues with those stinking, nagging demons.
I’ve been praying nonstop for changes I also have asked others to pray and I’m thankful for those praying. I really don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, but I continue hoping. Hoping for a raise, a better job, getting rid of my negative thoughts, etc. I really don’t want to feel this way, but the demons continue to attack. I continue praying for God to hold me up because I’m fearing of a knock out.
I’ll be honest to say the devil has been putting some real bad thoughts in my mind. Thoughts of suicide, thoughts of beating people up, thoughts of isolation, running away etc. Now the funny thing is I don’t see myself doing any of these things, but I’m scared that these thoughts continue to attack my brain. so what do I do? I pray and ask others to pray. I’m mentioning these things because I don’t go into detail when I ask for prayer. So for those who are praying, now you know what you’re praying for. I need an army of prayer warriors because I feel this a very serious matter. People will say when it’s too late, wow! I didn’t know he or she was feeling that way or going through that and before you know it it’s too late and that person is gone.
Some people don’t understand how can someone who claims to be a Christian have these thoughts? Well the devil is real! The Bible says he is like a roaring lion looking to devour. You see today it’s me and tomorrow it could be you. You will never understand until you go through it. Ellie and I have been in a real fight against the enemy for eight to nine years now. We’ve been through layoffs, death of loved ones, threats of losing our home, electricity shut offs, emergency home repairs, cancer and so on. And through the grace of God we are still standing, yeah, yeah yeah, I think that’s a line from a song. We know we don’t deserve anything, but that does not stop the pain. The Bible does say in Romans 2:9 we will have trails and tribulations, but that does not mean we can’t ask for help.
Those upper cuts, jabs, right and left hooks hurt! I like boxing that’s why I use these terminologies. My wife often reminds me to go to scripture and prayer, but I guess I don’t do it enough, I must be punch drunk or something. Well the fact of the matter is Ellie and I continue to seek God and ask him to put the right people in our lives. The right trainers, cut men ( those are the guys that stop the bleeding in a boxing match) but most of all cheerleaders. We thank God for those he has used to get us through this far and you know who you are, but the fight is not over and we need you until it’s all over or the final bell. Thank you and may God bless you forever!