Oseke .F. Blessed
4 min readSep 21, 2021
I

I DON’T CARE WHO THE IRS SENDS; I AM NOT PAYING TAXES!

Good sales copy, great sales copy, there’s a difference and with only a tiny speck joining these two; a sales copywriter with zero social skills, part-time depression, and a coke addiction, cheers!

It’s almost humorous how some of these “Greats” call themselves great without clearly understanding the meaning of a sales copy that actually sells, actually converts, and is great.

If you walk into a random store and the first thing you see is the salesgirl asleep on her desk and the atmosphere is dryer than the crusty white patch of drool stuck to her face, what would you do first?

The Irish jig out the door.

Now imagine walking into a store, and the salesgirl is actually conscious and ready for business. She smiles and is perky but not super perky because it’s a Monday morning. She’s quick to tempt you with the new and, most importantly, free samples, and you being the exact person you are, can’t refuse but get sucked in.

This is the difference between good copy and great copy.

Having your online or walk-in store with all your super cool products is one thing but selling another.

Having the words that compel people to exchange their hard-earned money for your shitty service or product, that’s the real deal.

Unfortunately, nowadays, no product or service is new.

Everything is a knockoff and has been done before, the only difference you make is how you communicate the words.

This brings us to the actual content of this crappily written article.

Excuse me while I grab my popcorn. You can read away I’m right behind you.

HOW TO BE A GREAT SALES COPYWRITER

  • BENEFITS OVER FEATURES — THE SLOGAN OF EVERY SALES COPYWRITER

This is probably the most overused hack to writing great copy. Everybody everywhere always talks about how to communicate benefits over features, but only a few people know what they’re talking about.

Benefits are the aftereffects of your product or service. These are all the good feels that they enjoy once they have used your products.

Are they getting back their Beach bodies?

Are they going to be the best dressed at the party?

Is their next-door neighbor, who is also their crush, finally going to walk up to them and sweep them off their feet like in some cliche rom-com?

Are they going to turn into chick magnets with their voodoo cologne?

These are the questions your clients and customers would like to know, and it’s your job to answer them.

Take your weight-loss products, for example.

Everybody talks about the magic pill, miracle oil, or herbal tea that guarantees a flatter tummy and toned body. They all say that their products are the next blockbuster in the weight-loss industry ( even though everybody knows the only way actually to lose weight is to exercise and maintain a daily calorie-deficit diet)

People waste so much money on these products simply because the copy is great, and that’s the truth.

They don’t care about the picture of a bigger person next to a smaller one with impossible and bogus time difference claims.

They care about the dinner gown they can finally wear and the girl they want to impress.

(This short intermission states that all bodies, regardless of size and shape, are sexy asf!)

The next tip is a kicker of red and saggy copywriting balls.

  • GREAT HEADLINE — STOP LISTENING TO CONVENTIONAL SALES COPYWRITERS!

This is not just the big, bold text to see at the beginning of every sales letter or sales email. These are the annoyingly flashy signs and billboards, the loud words on the hero section of your homepage, the eye-catching Instagram posts I can’t stop finding on my feed.

The headline serves one purpose and one purpose alone, to grab attention.mean, look at the header on this piece of crappy article. It says nothing about what I’m talking about right now, but hey, you opened and started reading it, didn’t you.

I hooked you like a fisherman over Bikini Bottom’s smelliest bottoms.

Anyways back to the article…

You can see that headlines are not obligated to complement the article or sales copy in any way. All it does is compel you to read the first sentence.

Being the first element you read, you have to make it memorable, and you have to make it punch your reader across the face, grab them by their collars, and plunge them through your copy.

This last tip will tickle you in the nutsack.

  • HIRE A BLOODY COPYWRITER

What, you thought 7-figures a month could be explained in three tips?

These things are not for the faint-hearted. What were you even thinking?!

I have bags under my eyes just from being a copywriter, and you think you can juggle this alongside your business and still have time for yourself?

How about I give you a hand with this one.

Slide swiftly into my inbox by reaching out to me; osekeblessed@gmail.com

PS Copywriting Is Sorcery!

Oseke .F. Blessed

I am a whore. A five star, high class, one client per night raging slut for Direct Response Marketing and I am as wild as they come.