Active Listening for Managers: How to Hear What Was Really Said

Busy, busy, busy! That’s the day-to-day work mode of almost all managers. Sometimes, it’s so tempting to skip the listening part with your employees and just give them tasks, recommendations, and feedback. But that’s a big mistake. Having good listening skills has a huge impact on job effectiveness and the quality of relationships with others.

By really listening to people and understanding what they are saying, you will be able to stay on top of all the processes and handle them without any particular difficulties. Sounds nice, right? But how?

The process of learning a new skill is never easy. As a way of giving you my support, I’d like to share a few tips that helped me learn active listening. I hope you find them useful!

Step 1. Really focus on the speaker and give them full attention.

Be prepared that in order to avoid having to focus, your brain will generously pour out a bunch of different “important” things. For example, it seems that the laces on your sneakers have come undone, so you need to tie them. Your phone screen flashed — you urgently have to check what was written. And many more. Don’t hold on to these thoughts, just let them go into space. So-called mindfulness in action 🙂

Step 2. Reflect.

Be sure to mirror information and emotions through periodic paraphrasing to ensure that you fully understand your employees. Active listening techniques such as reflecting demonstrate that you and your counterpart are on the same page.

For example, if your employee says, “I’m feeling really stressed about this project,” you could reflect by saying, “You’re feeling stressed about the project.” This shows that you’re listening and that you understand how they’re feeling.

You can also reflect on the emotions that your employee is expressing, even if they don’t explicitly state them. For example, if your employee is talking about a difficult conversation they had with a customer, you could reflect by saying, “You sound frustrated.” This shows that you’re paying attention to their emotional state and that you care about how they’re feeling.

Step 3. Ask questions to clarify any points you weren’t sure of and show empathy to the speaker.

Make sure you ask questions about any issue that seems ambiguous or unclear. This invites a thoughtful response and maintains a spirit of collaboration. Remember, the emphasis is on asking, rather than telling.

For example, if your employee says, “I’m not sure how to do this task,” you could ask, “Can you tell me more about what you’re struggling with?” This shows that you’re interested in helping them and that you’re willing to listen to their concerns.

Step 4. Summarise.

The best way to avoid misunderstandings is to summarise the conversation in a clear and concise way, and then ask the other person if they agree with your understanding. This can be done by simply stating the main points of the conversation and asking, “Do I have this right?” or “Is this what we agreed on?” This simple step can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings, especially in complex or sensitive conversations.

Bonus tip: Learn to tolerate pauses in conversation. Sometimes it’s valuable to not fill in those uncomfortable silences. Of course, I’m not talking about 15-minute pauses (that would be weird and stressful for everyone involved). But short pauses can be helpful. They give the other person time to think about what they want to say or to switch to a different topic. As a manager, this is a good way to see what’s really bothering your employees or what they’re avoiding. Be their coach and partner, and don’t rush them.

Of course, in practice, conversations are dynamic and spontaneous. It may seem difficult to apply the techniques described above in real-time. But the good news is that practice makes perfect. With each new meeting, you will become more comfortable using these techniques, and they will become second nature to you.

Best of luck and have fun mastering active listening!