How I Cured my Social Anxiety/Came Back from the Brink of Suicide.

Noticed over the past few days the Social Anxiety I’ve had almost all my life (starting around high school) has all but disappeared.

Someone very smart has been helping me start to finally be OK with how I look, instead of secretly believing I’m ugly and broken.

I used to be angry and bitter and jealous of all the guys I saw around me in happy relationships (including some of my own best mates!). I’ve always thought there must be something wrong with me since my perception of the world was girls never paid attention to me.

Last night I went out and I was sober like I always am… But the Social Anxiety that’s been with me since my teens was just… Gone. I’ve gotten so good at hiding it, I couldn’t believe it. I was finally happy and at peace. 🙂💯

I don’t like to talk about it, some would say I should keep personal stuff like this off of Social Media; that people would judge me for it and use it against me later on in my career and in life. I think it’s more important to be honest about these sorts of things, because I think there’s more people than just me living with horrific anxiety. Mine was because I had an irrational fear of rejection, but maybe hearing my experience can help someone else suffering through what I was going through in silence.

I was pretty close to Suicide. I figured if everyone else can hold a relationship together but I can’t I must be fucking unlovable. Nobody will hire me because I spend half my life in the hospital, I’m not a Model/Film Producer/Enterprenuer/Social Influencer by choice; I just wanted a damn normal career and someone to love me. I’d go to bed at night and hope to God 🙏 I didn’t wake up the next morning. Doing reckless shit like responding to volatile challenges and situations with a “Go ahead, I’m not afraid to die” mindset.

I wasn’t afraid to die, I was afraid to live. I spent the last 10 years of my life living a facade of trying to “be impressive” and cast an allusion of success to people I barely know. 💯💯

I’m finally starting to cast that off, to again just get to just be me. A kinda geeky dude that would rather be playing The Elder Scrolls or at the gym by myself working out and day dreaming about the future on a Friday night. I have an extreme love for cats and I like blasting Indie Rock when I’m driving.

I am different, I am unique. That’s what gives me my strength, because I’m not like everyone else. I’m finally ok with not having “ripped abs” and girls not responding back to me. It’s their loss, not mine. I’m not pretending to be Saleem the party guy with all the cool connections who has story after story and achievement after achievement to talk about.

I’m just me, and I’m finally ok and at peace with that. Crazily enough my Anxiety, which has run my life for so many years now… Disappeared along with that obsession to “be cool”.

I can finally start truly building for the Future, I can finally truly inspire people instead of just halfway motivating them. I’m finally ready to build my Kingdom, and then to use that Kingdom to help those suffering like I was.

Look out world, I’m going to be making a few changes 🙂👌.

Official Mr. Washington State 2017

Written by

Official National Titleholder of Mr. Washington State 🌧🌲☔ (Mr USA 2017 🙏) | 👻 tenaciousproduc

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