So… I’M OFFICIALLY A COMPETITOR FOR MR. UNITED STATES AND COMPETING THIS SUMMER IN NEW ORLEANS!!! (Also Battling Extreme Depression)
Yeah, so that happened. I mean I gotta say I’m incredibly honored that out of the 100’s of applications they picked me (I should have taken a picture of my face when I got the letter).
Let me take a step back and say that I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging lately. I’ve been battling extreme depression, it’s been rough; there’s… no feeling, no happiness, no… laughter, no enjoyment. You just feel blank all the time, it’s something I could never understand before the depression set in, that I know. However I’m going to beat this, I’ve beaten every challenge God has set for me so far and I’m not sure if this is a test or something else but I’m going to beat this too (it’s just hard because it’s not really an enemy you can fight, that’s the insidious nature of depression).
The depression slips it’s way into your work life, your personal relationships, your schoolwork; hell I don’t even enjoy playing Fallout as much anymore, it’s pretty rough. I know I’m going to get through this though, I always have before and I always will, no worries!
Anyway back to the competition I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY PICKED ME!!! It’s nuts, like seriously? I can’t believe it, I’m really happy to have the opportunity to represent Washington State on a National level though; and I mean… It’s quite funny, I could never have even seen myself competing in the Mr. Eastlake Competition in my High School (just something the popular kids did to be more popular, not something I would ever have been invited to do, though I doubt I would have had the courage even had someone asked me to participate). It’s just crazy that I’m competing for the title of Mr. United States, like… dafuq? I really am honored though and this will do wonders for my modeling career as well as really put Ostomies and Disability awareness on the map. If I can win… hell we’ll show people no matter what you have attached to your stomach (or whatever differences you have in general); you can do whatever you want!
As for my personal life, the depression has certainly… Made things harder but I’m pushing through, auditioned for a new Zombie TV Show called “Nowhere to Run” last weekend (I find out if I got a part this weekend), so it’s quite exciting! I have to work on my college applications and all that jazz as well, so it’s been busy.
I’ll make time for this blog and my article writing though, I always do! Stay classy Seattle!