I have a very interesting perspective as genderfluid genderqueer pansexual statuses (or stati as per Latin grammar). I’m also a big 4chan user. I love /d/ hentai/alternative, /e/ ecchi, /h/ hentai, /u/ yuri, and /y/ yaoi. Those are my favorite threads, though I do sometimes visit other ones. That is necessary backstory. Also, I’m a fan of technique more than size. My motto is basically it isn’t how long it is, it’s how you use it. I also follow a tag here called Prostitute Laundry about sex in general from a sex expert and various issues that arise from the readers answered there. It’s also a book on my must read in the future list.

Ok, the last paragraph was all over the place. Back to me, I have a unique perspective. I watch way more hentai style pornography than live action pornography. That’s the sexual side of otaku culture. Not to tangent off that, but that alone would be enough for me to write a topic called about my tentacles, about my love of tentacles, or about tentacles. This paragraph got off track fast as well.

Pansexuality is non-binary bisexuality whereas a bisexual is a cisgendered male or female attracted to both cisgendered males and cisgendered females as well as fully transitioned transgendered persons counting basically as the cisgendered counterpart of their gender identity effectively. Pansexuality, by contrast, is people of all possible gender decent prior attracted to all possible gender scenarios whether cisgender, transgender, genderqueer, male, female, Two-Spirit, Hijra, Khanith, Kathoey, anything/everything on the gender spectrum basically.

I know you’re reading this (all readers) that I have kept going on tangents and providing necessary prologue material before actually getting to the actual substance of my post. This post looks like it going to turn into a really long paper about my relationship with gender, sexual orientation, and clothing also. Clothing? Yes, it looks like a random thing so far, but the topic involves it as well.

Now, on the size front. Actually, all sizes are good in their own rights as well as having their pros and cons. I believe in dick equality just like there is such a thing as booby equality. Being a fan of BDSM as well pain isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Deep throating, lubeless anal, strong slapping, and even ass to mouth aren’t as bad as people talk about them. I’d say there was this awesome pleasure experience of being filled with something that was very erotic. Also, the smell was crappy, but only tasted like skin with no nasty tastes despite what would be expected. The pain added to the pleasure. There were lots of moans of pleasure. There was also a surprising amount of saliva doing the oral. Do men really like all that saliva on them? It was a crazy amount, like my mouth was a water park. I also loved the slapping on my butt. It was really strong, but the pain was really pleasurable. Speaking of pain, having a ten inch (his estimate, but my estimate would have been a whole foot) going fast and balls deep at the same time has an interesting mix of pain and pleasure to it. My butt was sore for a while afterwards with sitting for a few days, but in retrospect the pleasure made it all worth it. The lack of mans aping wasn’t a problem either. Hair wasn’t that big of a deal down there. Then, there is swallowing. I didn’t find anything difficult about that either. It was like tapioca pudding but with a more erotic smell and taste. I used erotic a lot as an adjective as some of the things are hard to describe the experience through words, but they were happy, pleasurable, as well as sexy, thus erotic. My experiences and my descriptions tend to be ameturish writing and reading compared to the woman on Medium running the Prostitute Laundry tag and publication group here, but she is a really sex expert writing about her experiences and answering questions from her readers counseling them about sex.

As a 4chan dweller, it has to a degree influenced my fantasies. I do dwell a lot in the 18+ section. It’s really hard to explain the content there to someone who probably has never been there. There is too much to explain even if I limited myself to /d/, /e/, /h/, /u/, and /y/. There are the adult anime/manga related sections. Hentai is animated pornography in general, but they created a separate section for adult cartoons for animated pornography of a more Western animations style. Yuri and Yaoi are girl/girl and guy/guy genres within anime/manga in both hentai and non-hentai works. Ecchi is borderline stuff that is near to but not yet hentai. It’s really risqué stuff that isn’t yet porn. Now how do I define alternative, this one is a tough one. It’s all the alternative stuff not in their other categories. Crossdressing, transformations, surprising human like aliens, anthropomorphic animal human hybrid creatures, mythological creatures, female domination of males, futanari (females with male generals), reverse futanari (males with female genetalia), double futanari (people of either gender with both genetalia), giants, petplay (dressing and acting like pets), etc. It’s really hard to encapsulate everything there.

I’m introverted and shy, but really erotic, kinky, and sexual underneath all that. I’m also quite nerdy too personality wise, but don’t look nerdy at all though. Despite not having the job, I’m basically a hot librarian type. I do read a lot (on things like economics, political philosophy, aesthetics, the history of Europe, America history, empires, lots of stuff).

I (dropped text here, so sad, will have to fix with edits later)

I will try to recreate as best as I can the lost paragraph or paragraph and a half or however much was dropped. I satisfy myself so a not to be a selfish lover whenever I have partners. I give myself love first which is integral to giving love to others. That is my philosophy of love and sex. It’s like on planes where you give yourself air before you give others air. My philosophy on everything is like this. My personality is ISTJ (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging). It really helps me philosophize about all this even sex, sexuality, and sexual encounters are part of my philosophical worldview. I can’t really tell if this is a new and replacement paragraph rather than a recreation.

As more of an orgasm giver than an orgasm receiver. It means in sex, I focus more on the pleasure of my partner than my own pleasure. That’s because if I wanted pleasure myself, I’d just do it myself. But in sex despite getting pleasure from it, I find it as an opportunity to bring pleasure to other people. I’m not saying that I don’t see sex as an opportunity for pleasure for me too, but that since I’m more or less self sufficient in satisfying my own needs that it allows me to focus on my partner more during sex. I hope I explained that as best as I can. I’m not as good at explaining things as the best person could but I try, so some of the things may need follow up explaining.

As a Unitarian Universalist and Mahayana Buddhist, despite being very religious in those regards, I’m still a very sexual person. Those religions have very strong sex-positive strands in them. The Religious Institute is a sex-positive organization within Unitarian Universalism. Also, sex or the promise thereof has been used in various Buddhist myths as a positive thing despite what you would expect. The book, The Red String, deals with lots of these myths in it. Stories of enlightened beings appear in sutras as well as common non-canonical texts too. Examples includes Manjushri (Monju Bosatsu in Japanese) out of wisdom and compassion creating homosexuality is an apocryphal example. Tara having sex with a monkey to creat humanity is a more canonical example from Tibetan Buddhism. I could go on and on with such stories with varying degrees of canonical that inform the complicated relationship of Buddhism with sex. Really, this is a great topic to study.

I’ve never really thought of my own dick in the way as using it to derive pleasure from others so much as to derive pleasure from myself or as to give pleasure to others. My introversion and shyness prevents me from making connections with others as much, but I have made close deep friendships with various people that have occassi orally become sexual friendship, but having to move from one place to another for university and employment ends the geographical proximity needed for in person sex. This is okay, except the geographical distance from this one really hot Latina dominatrix type I know. She was the absolute best out of all the partners I ever had! Ever will have? That’s yet to be determined. Also, the guy from paragraphs was a regular cool dude type half surfer type half rocker type mixed together and white since I said the race of the other person mentioned for balance sake. As a fairly consistent bottom or sub who has wondered where the border between it and that third thing (switch or whatever a person that can either be top or bottom, dom or sub is), I’ve been somewhat curious about what being a top or dom for once would be like.

Despite having a stereotypical male wardrobe based on cheapness and comfort rather than my ideal clothes, I have wondered about experimenting with fashion. That means cosplay as well as crossdressing in general as well as brining both into the bedrroom. I usually have impromptu sex rather than really planned sex, so I have never dressed up for the occasion. I have usually worn regular clothes before with it eventually being taken off somewhat to full nudity to facilitate the sex. I have wondered about fetish outfits and the afore mentioned fashion choices during sex.

Regrets of what could have been isn’t something I think about. I have had my partners make the first move, not on purpose, but my slowness making any interested in me express it or I wouldn’t know. One of my friends was a curvy but not fat BBW of my own race (I’m black but have a variety of races among my inner circles of friends I form, so lots of not that intentional interracial sex happens due to not caring about the race of my sexual partners other than maybe somewhat of a love of “rice”) who I never actually did. We had conversations that in retrospect kind of beat around the bush, but as she never really made it really knows that she explicitly wanted me before I moved after a graduation move was soon to be made making us actually doing anything after knowing that impossible. I feel kind of stupid after us having all those playful and hot/heavy conversations that we remained just friends mostly. Well, we did manage to erotically touch each other and explore each other’s bodies to some extent, but never went that far on the bases (baseball analogy for sexual advancement).

Back to the inspiration for this topic, my dick. I only really think about it is when I’m, you know, being one with myself or making love to myself. I’m really surprised each time by its capacity for inducing pleasure in myself. With regards to pleasure of others, I usually think of my mouth, my tongue, my hands, my fingers, my butt, etc as higher on the list than my dick. I’m really auto-erotic as I focus on my body and its sensations rather than forming a mental image of a partner during it, though I do that sometimes as well to mix things up. If I’m only the toilet, I just flush stuff down. If not, then I don’t like making a mess, so I handle it by cupping my hand and swallowing the eventual product of a good time with myself.

Okay, I hope I haven’t been to explicit for anyone’s liking. Generally sex is an issue that squishes people out especially with a person who doesn’t like conforming to gender norms or isn’t a cisgendered heterosexual. Also, I hope this isn’t too long a read. I tried to make it a short read in theory, but inspiration came (now I have a mental image a muse “coming” from something I typed) and I typed and typed.

Has my sexuality influenced my politics? Maybe. In this bonus text, we have politics. I’m a staunch Individualist and Libertarian, despite the above probably making you think I were a far left Socialist type. I believe in the free market. I believe in a framework for utopia that allows the world to be chaotic and free as well as dynamically being itself through the free interactions of individuals. My sexual encounters have been individuals freely and chaotically giving themselves to each other. It is also a very libertarian love making we had each time.

Back to 4chan for another bonus text, as I really love writing this so I’m still writing. I really love the /d/ thread there. I really like the really feminine male crossdresser characters from the hentai posted there. I really like how cute, fashionable, passionate, and sexy they are. Having sex with all types of other characters and even the same type of character. It’s like my ideal sexual self, that really hasn’t materialized other than as a fantasy. I have had sexual encounters, but I’m generally too masculine in dress and presentation for my fantasy as it was all impromptu. For lack of a term (despite me reclining the terms I have and will use if any are problematic of not PC except in the porn watching community), I’m a fan of the sissy porn there. Whether it’s sissy on sissy or sissy on regular man or sissy one woman, it all is part of my favorite material there. It’s also why I visit the /d/ thread way more than the /h/ thread.

On geography, I’m not close in that sense to anyone, so my sex life has vanished for an indefinite period. I’m still having myself to be self sufficient, but I miss really giving pleasure to others. I last went to physical classes in a university during the Spring of 2015, and have since only done Internet classes. I’m curious about either getting back to physical classes and starting the long process of really close friendships that turn eventually sexual maybe or finding some other way to meet people somehow.

What if I were Stephanie York (I used another part of England for my middle name because I couldn’t gender flip it) Gray due to an alternative universe where I was female rather than male? I don’t really care about conforming to the expectations of others, so I can’t really envision my sex life being different due to a hypothetical gender flip. It would be an interesting universe to live in as the whole world is interesting to think about. Also, what if I were as well as being gender flipped was a dom/top rather than a sub/bottom as well? I would be one sexy Countess/Baroness type then. It’s a trope and a pun as I do have a Count title of nobility from the Principality of Sealand.

Finally, I hope the iOS app doesn’t drop any of the text as it would be a pain to have to edit anything back it from anything dropping. It’s a problem some people have wrote about. I’m on my iPad right now. I may turn my sexuality and sex life into a regular thing I write about, but I don’t write regularly about anything. I just write loose canon like on any topic at the time. It has gradually grown my number of followers I reach over time. I also don’t have much preventing me from writing all the time which allows me to write more stuff that people see and thus, follow me.

Also, all my sexual encounters have been one person and me having sex. I have fantasizes about multiple people at a time, group sex, and orgies. I don’t see any plans for making anything I fantasize about a reality. Though, I’m too chaotic to plan things and just receive things and situations as life presents me with.

Will this eventually become a writing series? I don’t know. I’m too chaotic to say yes or not. I could say no, but change my mind. I could say yes, but write about other things pushing this on the bottom of an ever growing list of things I write about. Well, there is already a Prostitute Laundry tag and series of publications from a sex worker here explaining her sex life and answering questions about sex. So that means I know it’s a safe topic to write about as well an already formed topic here. Though, it makes me somewhat of a follower in her foot steps and not an innovator. I haven’t even named whatever it will be if i go this route. Please highlight and respond with feedback on this possible endeavor of mine.

Thanks for getting me to try to write about my dick, but go off on a rant and tangent about my sex life and sexuality and stuff intstead. If you read all this, then you have a long attention span unlike me. I can write for a long while, but I ironically can’t read for that much. LGBTQ, Rant, and Sexuality seems like tags I may add if I find them on the tags list.

More info on my tastes as I’m a really huge fan of femdom porn (BDSM with the female as the dom and the male as the sub). I absolutely love it! Even though the name is femdom it only applies to straight porn as lesbian (or gay, due to malesub) BDSM doesn’t qualify as it, but I’m not sure. Okay, please respond and give feedback!